Will you save me?
by AkumaNoDanna
Summary: 16 year old Deidara has decided that he'll commit suicide at the age of 18. Sasori, a new student at Dei's high school, is the first one to manage to break into the young male's world. But will it be enough?
1. Chapter 1

_Although I'm supposed to be doing million other things than starting a new fic... here it is =3_

_I know high school is the most common topic yet, but I did try to make it a LITTLE different. For example, taking away Deidara's cheerfulness and the usual blushy-blushy uke personality. If it doesn't sound so different from the others to you, then... there can never be too many (?) great SasoDei lemon high school fanfics xD_

_BUT! ATTENTION PLEASE! AHEM!_

_I'm changing a little detail about the characters as I (will) do in all of my SasoDei fics. From this sentence onwards, Deidara will be 166 cm tall (the same as in the manga/anime) and Sasori will be 168 cm tall (4 cm taller than in the manga/anime). Also, in this particular fic, I'm erasing the whole puppet-body and hand-mouths scenario. They will be completely (?) normal teenagers, Deidara's 16 years old, Sasori's 17._

_I do not own Naruto._

_Please, enjoy! ^^_

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><p>"DEIDARA!" a loud voice came from the kitchen, having no effect on the blonde nevertheless. "You are going to be late!"<p>

"No, I'm not," Deidara muttered back, although it was unlikely anyone heard it. He grabbed his schoolbag and went into the kitchen, snatching an apple while passing his mother.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" the woman asked worriedly, seeing Deidara leaving already. "You will pass out on your way to school this way."

"No, I won't." He went through the kitchen to the corridor, holding the apple between his teeth while tying his shoelaces. "See you," he murmured after taking a bite from the fruit. Before his mother could even say anything, he'd already closed the door behind him.

While walking through his family's huge front yard, Deidara tried to clear his mind and just stop thinking for once. He threw the apple he'd only taken two bites out of to their dog who'd come to greet him, or rather say goodbye. It wasn't his plan to starve himself to death nor was he overly worried about his weight, empty stomach just had its advantages. The growling could easily take your mind off of some thoughts you'd willingly avoid and it always came with the slight chance of him really passing out, praising him with at least an hour of unconsciousness.

Deidara got to his English class on time, just as he'd predicted, taking his usual seat besides the window. It was the only desk in the class with an empty seat, a very pleasing quality in his opinion. He hadn't had a deskmate since eight grade and he wasn't planning to have one for the rest of high school.

After taking out his things, he sat down, resting his head on the table to make up for the sleepless night, ignoring the rumble going on in the classroom. Deidara didn't need to tell anyone not to disturb him, they knew it already. Always had.

Unfortunately, his ignorant solitude was interrupted by the annoying jangling of school bell and the teacher entering the classroom. Slowly raising his head, Deidara saw a teenage redheaded boy standing next to their teacher in front of the classroom. Deciding it wasn't worth his attention, the blonde shifted his gaze from the new student to his sketchbook, continuing the drawing he had started yesterday.

Of course, he knew without the teacher telling the whole class that the boy would be destined to sit beside him, there was only one free seat in the whole room for god's sake. Before the newcomer could even sit down, Deidara turned the other way, building a barrier between them with his long blonde hair. The bang hanging over his left eye had to be good for something.

The blonde had no idea what his deskmate was doing for the rest of the class, since his attention was completely focused on his drawing. To be precise, he had no idea what his partner was doing for the rest of the lessons until lunch break. He was drawing a burnt down to ashes village with a little crying girl in the foreground. Desperation and sadness was flowing into the picture with every scratch he made with his pencil.

Monday was the only day in the week, when all of the classes were in the same room, sparing Deidara more time and making it completely unnecessary for him to look up from his sketchbook for the whole day. Right after the bell rang, the blonde heard the chair next to him being moved, obviously by his deskmate who was just about to get up to join the human stream, leading to the cafeteria.

Deidara felt the room fall silent, the only sound being his pencil on the paper. He thought he was completely alone and that's why the sudden voice made him jump.

"Could I see your other drawings?"

Deidara looked up to see the redheaded newcomer standing in front of him. Trying to remember how to use his voice, the only thing the blonde could do was stare at him open-mouthed.

"What're you doing here?" Deidara blurted out the first question to break through, not making any sense at all. "I mean, why didn't you go to the cafeteria? It's lunch break."

"I could ask you the same thing, although I asked something else," the redhead said, reminding him the unanswered request.

"Oh, I-," Deidara felt like all of the words had just suddenly left him, making him stare at his deskmate like a complete idiot. The blonde just handed him the sketchbook before turning his head away, wanting to end this awkward situation as soon as possible. It wasn't as if he had got anything to lose by showing his drawings anyway.

"What was your name again?" Deidara asked, trying to sound polite, while the other boy was slowly flipping through his drawings. It had been a long time since he'd had a normal conversation with someone his age. It made him feel he'd forgotten how it worked at all. Actually, it had been a long time since he'd had a normal conversation with anyone. "I-I didn't quite catch it before."

"Sasori," he answered without looking up. "If I'm not mistaking then you were Deidara."

"Correct," the blonde replied, turning his gaze away once again. Although there was nothing so special to it, Sasori was the first one to see his drawings besides himself. Suddenly, it felt like unlocking your diary for someone to freely read it. Before he was able to grab the sketchbook, following his made-up-at-the-spot plan, Sasori placed it on the desk.

Deidara's eyes locked on it and, before he could look back up, the redhead had left the room without a word. The blonde artist put his drawings into his bag, zipping it closed in frustration. Taking an oath to never speak to his deskmate again, he rested his head on the table, trying to fall asleep.

As conversations were never the best helpers to clear your mind, Deidara returned home even more tired than before leaving. He had just closed the door and started slipping his shoes off, when a manservant stood before him.

"I don't care what you'll put on the plate, Tobi, I won't eat it anyway," the blonde snapped impatiently at the raven-haired butler, passing him without looking at him. "Just tell everyone to leave me alone and stay out of my room. I can handle cleaning my own room on _my own._"

Deidara went upstairs, slamming his door closed and locking it as well. He had no intentions of making contact with another human being that day. He took out his sketchbook and tossed his bag into a corner of the room.

Sitting behind the desk, he tried to start drawing again, but couldn't. He couldn't force himself. If anything, he just ended up, staring at the picture with a blank look, letting the thoughts in his head overwhelm him again. To give himself at least something to do, he started flipping through the drawings, before stopping suddenly. One of them was missing.

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><p><em>Just to make things cristal clear, there isn't going to be any MasterxServant aka DeiTobi in this fic. SasoDei, and SasoDei ONLY. Maybe some other pairings as well... but NO DeiTobi. I'm not a fan of that pairing, yet.<em>

_Please, review/comment!_


	2. Chapter 2

_In case you didn't know, I do not own Naruto._

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><p>5:34 am<p>

Deidara glanced at the clock and sighed in frustration, falling back onto his bed. He hadn't gotten any sleep during the whole night, and now it was already too late. Sick and tired of just staring at the ceiling, he got up and went to his bathroom. It was too late for him to go to sleep and too early to leave the house for school, leaving him trapped inside of his own prison. Trying to take as much time as he could while being in the shower, Deidara washed his hair as well, although there was no need to. After drying and putting it up into a half-ponytail, he brushed his teeth, twice, before looking in the mirror.

He leaned on the sink with his hands, drilling a hole into his eyes through the mirror. He didn't recognize the pale, colourless face that stared back at him. It could've belonged to anyone. The dark circles under his eyes seemed to darken even more as he couldn't turn away.

Deidara stopped leaning on his hands as he felt them starting to shake. He splashed some cold water on his face to keep himself awake and exited the bathroom. As he went to grab his clothes, he really didn't care he'd be absurdly early. He just couldn't stay in the house anymore, he had to get out.

Grabbing his jacket and schoolbag, he went out of the house where everyone else was still sleeping. Deidara had to admit he preferred the building that way, it gave him a feeling of solitude, something he had started to appreciate during the past few years.

Since he had more than enough time to spare, he decided to walk to school through the park, avoiding the shortcuts. The feeling of cold wind caressing him was comforting, making him close his eyes even while walking. Sensing the consequences of not eating for so long catching up, he decided to sit down at a nearby bench. As Deidara felt his eyelids becoming heavy, he rested his head on the schoolbag, being out in a couple of seconds.

He was woken up by his whole body shaking. As he returned to reality from the dream land, the prompt surfacing made him jump and panic a little. _How long had he been out? _Automatically reaching out into his pocket to find his cell, he realized he had missed the first four classes and it was already lunch break.

Running his hand across his face, the young male leaned back on the bench, finally noticing the familiar redhead standing in front of him The exact same one who had woken him up.

"Why aren't you at school?" both of them asked at the same time, causing a little awkward silence.

"You first," Sasori said, breaking the silence.

As Deidara answered, he let his usual monotone expression appear again. "I passed out on the bench," he said as if it were the most normal thing in the world. "And you? You don't even have your schoolbag with you."

Sasori just shrugged, "I'm not at school because I'm here. Can't be at two places at the same time."

Staring at the redhead wide eyed for a minute, Deidara just shook the comment off, standing up and turning to go.

"Where're you going to?" Sasori asked him, walking by his side. "Surely not to school?"

"Why do you care?" the younger male asked in a bored tone.

"Because you look like you're going to pass out again any moment."

"I repeat, why do you care?"

"Want to go to eat?" the redhead asked, ignoring the question.

"No."

"We'll make it my treat at any place you choose."

"I _have _money," Deidara snapped, stopping at the traffic lights, as they had gotten out of the park. He kept his eyes stubbornly at the passing cars, not really noticing any of them. He would've missed the green light, had Sasori not dragged him across the road. Unfortunately for the blonde, his deskmate didn't let go of his hand after crossing the road either. He was dragged along to the nearby parking lot and placed in front of a black Lamborghini.

Sasori opened the passenger's door for him and went to driver's seat.

"Get in," he ordered the blonde as he saw the younger male wasn't moving at all.

For some reason, Deidara followed the order, closing the door behind him. After both of them had fastened their seatbelts, Sasori started the engine.

"Where to?" he asked. "Where do you want to eat at?"

"I am not going to eat," Deidara stated, looking out of the window.

"Is McDonald's OK?" Sasori questioned, ignoring, once again, the younger male's arguing.

"I don't eat fast food."

Sasori just nodded, not letting his surprise show. "Something more elegant then."

Deidara shook his head, giving up on it and deciding to change the topic. "You have something that belongs to me."

Sasori smirked, understanding perfectly that he had the upper hand there. "Yes, the drawing is at my home."

The blonde sighed in frustration. "I expect you will bring it to school tomorrow?"

Sasori didn't answer, but his smile grew wider. "We're here."

They had stopped in front of a restaurant Deidara didn't recognize. It looked cozy though. As they entered, a waitress directed them to a free table, handing them menus.

"I hope you do remember I am not going to eat anything." Deidara reminded the older male with an expressionless face.

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice," Sasori smirked at him. "I have your drawing. If you want it back, you'd better eat."

Deidara sighed heavily, running his eyes over the list of foods. He noticed that Sasori had placed his menu on the table, without even taking a look inside.

"Hello," a dark-headed waitress approached them with a friendly smile on her face. "Are you ready to order?"

Hesitating a little, Deidara looked at the older male who just nodded at him. "Um, I'll take pasta and a coke."

The waitress nodded happily, writing it down before she turned to look at Sasori. "The same for me, please."

The waitress nodded once again before leaving. The table remained silent as the younger male thought over the situation. How come he had ended up here? It made no sense why someone he had so obviously tried to ignore was worrying over his eating habits.

"I still don't understand why you're doing this," Deidara said, looking at the redhead into the eyes. The older male's expression slowly changed into a smirk.

"You don't have to."

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><p><em>Please commentreview and thank you everyone who has done it so far!_


	3. Chapter 3

_I Don't Own Naruto._

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><p>„Where do you want go now?" Sasori asked as they had gotten into the car again and he had started the engine.<p>

Deidara remained silent for a minute before answering. "Home," he said bitterly, although it was a lie. That house was the last place he wanted to be right now, but it also seemed the only reasonable place for Sasori to drop him off at. Deidara sighed and closed his eyes, repeating, "Just take me home."

Sasori nodded without saying anything, his face turning expressionless. It was a silent twenty-minute ride, 'til they reached the blonde's house. Deidara grabbed his schoolbag from the backseat and without even bothering to ask how the hell the redhead had known his exact address, he murmured a quiet "bye" before stepping out of the car. Without looking back, he pushed the gate open and walked inside.

The rest of the week went on in silence, neither Sasori nor Deidara trying to start a conversation with each other. For Deidara, it meant no conversations with human beings at all. It had always been like that before Sasori had made an appearance, so nothing new about it for him. But for an unknown reason, he felt like he was being held under pressure.

_Saturday (?) morning, 12 am_

Deidara had fallen asleep at the late dawn, and was still sound asleep, when he heard something flying against his room's window. He tried to ignore it, stubbornly holding on to his never-easy-to-come sleep, but in vain. The damage had already been done and for the rest of the day he'd most probably be a sleepless zombie. Not that it differed from his usual behaviour that much.

Deidara sat up, holding onto his head that hurt like hell. It felt like the worst hangover he'd ever had, or, the worst hangover he will ever have. There should've been no one in the house, since his parents were away on a vacation in a foreign country, his siblings, 15-year old brother and 18-year old sister, never spent their weekends at home and the servants always had the second weekend of the month off. Which left the question, who the hell had woken him up?

Deidara went to the window and opened it to look outside. Right there, in the backyard, stood Sasori, throwing little rocks at the window. He stopped immediately after seeing the blonde's head pop out.

"What are you doing here?" Deidara had meant to yell, but his voice sounded really hoarse, so it ended up sounding like a cough.

"Just dropping by to see if you're still alive," Sasori answered, no hint of humour in his voice.

"Firstly, I _do _have a cell phone, and I have no doubts about you knowing my number already, since you've had no trouble learning my address _and_ my window without my help," Deidara said in an irritated tone. That dumbass had interrupted one of his rare chances of getting some seriously needed sleep, guaranteeing him a painful headache throughout the weekend. "Secondly, I really don't see how it concerns you in the slightest bit."

"Can I come in?" Sasori asked as if he hadn't heard any of Deidara's complaints.

That wasn't something the blonde had expected. As soon as he had composed himself, he wanted to yell at him for being so intrusive and annoying, but thought better of it. He had got nothing to lose by letting him in. He wasn't going to fall asleep again anytime soon and he didn't have anything else to do either.

"I'll come down," Deidara said, sighing in defeat. He closed the window and went to his drawer, getting out a pair of black jeans and a band t-shirt. Dressed, he went down the stairs to the front door. To his own surprise, he found himself hurrying, not wanting to keep Sasori waiting. _What was up with him?_

He found the redhead already waiting as he opened the door.

"Are you home alone?" Sasori asked, stepping in and slipping out of his shoes.

"Yes," Deidara replied in a monotone voice. "Most probably for the rest of the weekend."

"Well, aren't you lucky then that I came over?" Sasori asked jokingly. "Where is your family?"

"My parents are in Barcelona, the servants have got these two days off,-" Sasori raised his eyebrows at the word 'servant', "-my sister is probably staying over at her new boyfriend's place and my brother is most likely with his friends, recovering from a hangover," he said, leaving it unmentioned that his brother was well underage, even younger than Deidara was himself. "Do you want something to eat or drink?"

Sasori didn't give an answer, only shrugged, but they moved towards the kitchen nevertheless.

"I really have no idea if we have any food, but I suppose they wouldn't leave me here to starve."

"I'm not hungry, but I could use a glass of water."

Deidara nodded at him as Sasori sat down behind the counter. He filled a glass with water and gave it to him, sitting down as well.

"What brought you here, if I may ask?" Deidara questioned.

"I told you before, to see if you're still alive."

Deidara gave him a forced snort. "I'm serious."

"So am I."

"I don't need you to babysit me. I've lived for 16 years without a nanny and I think I'll manage to go on as well."

"But how long?" Sasori handed him a folded piece of paper Deidara instantly opened.

It was a drawing of a teenager falling off a cliff, still trying to reach out towards the sky. In the background there was a city, but you could tell it was far away. The place in the foreground was obviously abandoned, just like the falling boy. Deidara recognized the stolen drawing from his sketchbook. With slight embarrassment, he realized Sasori must've understood that the boy, the blonde had drawn committing a suicide, was Deidara.

Blushing a little, while still being dead serious, he mumbled something about an inspiration from a movie.

"Can you blame me for not believing you?" Sasori asked sceptically.

"I can blame you for sticking your nose in things that have nothing to do with you," Deidara snapped impatiently. "In case you haven't noticed, it's _my _life."

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><p><em>The conversation will continue in the next chapter.<em>


	4. Chapter 4

_Heyy, guess who's back? :D *dodges the tomatoes thrown at her*_

_Ok, ok. I know I've kept you waiting for SO LONG, but I've had absolutely no inspiration for writing this. And I prefer a little break to pointless chapters. Don't you agree? Besides, you can relax. I have a few ideas for the next chapters as well. I will try to make them longer, although this one turned out quite short. Ah, screw me. At least I tried._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, the song nor the movie mentioned in this story. Let me know if you recognized the movie._

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><p>"I can blame you for sticking your nose in things that have nothing to do with you," Deidara snapped impatiently. "In case you haven't noticed, it's <em>my <em>life."

Sasori was already ready to open his mouth and retort, but stopped before he could get a word out and looked away from the blonde's flaming eyes. An awkward silence settled between them, as the redhead finished his drink. He looked at the blonde, whose anger had vanished as suddenly as it had appeared, leaving him in his usual impassive state.

"Would you mind giving me a tour in your house?" Sasori asked, bringing the younger male's attention back to him.

Deidara was a little surprised at the odd request, but the emotion wasn't strong enough to show on his face. He nodded and stood up, letting his eyes run over the room.

"You probably realized this was the kitchen," he said. Had Sasori not seen his indifferent face, he would've thought the teen was trying to make a funny comment.

They went through the double leaved door to the next room. In that room, the first thing Sasori noticed was the big French window leading to the garden. He could see an outside pool and a bubble bath, along with a expensive-looking grill and a table with six chairs. The redhead couldn't help but notice the numerous well-tended rose-bushes in the background.

"Does your mother love roses?" he asked the blonde male, who was letting him absorb everything he saw without interrupting him.

Deidara nodded. "That's only one of her huge fetishes. She loves to look at them and smell them, but it's the gardener that tends them."

Sasori nodded as well, looking around in the room itself. It was lofty and clean, the only thing hanging on the bright empty walls was the huge plasma TV. There was a comfy sofa in the middle of the room with a coffee table next to it. There was also a small shelf under the TV, with a DVD player, playstation, magazines and either DVD or video game boxes. A bookshelf and a couple of comfort chairs were standing against the walls.

"As you can see, this is the living room," Deidara stated quietly, as if he was losing his voice. They left the room and went into the hallway that was, at the same time, a corridor, cutting through the house and dividing it into two. They ignored the stairs that went both up and down, and walked to the other end of it, Sasori's eyes glued to the numerous paintings on the walls. It was like the blonde's parents had bought the whole art museum to decorate their hallway.

"The first floor's bathroom, the servants' section of rooms," Deidara said, motioning towards the doors they passed, before stopping and opening the last door. They stepped in, letting the redhead look around. All of walls were covered with bookshelves; there were even shelves above the windows and the door. There were many armchairs in the room and another TV with DVDs and video games. There was a CD player with huge speakers right next to the TV. On the shelves there were mostly books, but also many CDs, magazines, small statues and papers.

"I... don't know what to call this room," Deidara said, looking around with a blank look. "I don't come here very often."

Sasori nodded and stepped out of the room, the other male following him.

"We have a gym, a playroom with table tennis and air hockey, a pool and a sauna on the basement floor," Deidara said as they went upstairs. "This is my sister's room," he gestured towards a closed white door. "Although she prefers to spend her time at her boyfriend's place, rather than here. Next to her room is my parents' bedroom," he then turned to face the opposite wall. "That's my brothers' room," he pointed at a door that probably used to be white like the other doors, but was now covered in graffiti paints and a sign with a skull and a "keep out" on it.

"And then there's my room," Deidara said, gesturing towards a white door with a bird graved into it. He pushed the door open, motioning for Sasori to follow him. The redhead stepped inside and looked around. The walls were dark blue, unlike all the other bright walls Sasori had seen so far. There was another French door, in the room, next to a wardrobe, leading to the blonde's personal bathroom.

The bed in the corner of the room was messy from the morning, but everything else seemed to be even tidier than the living room had been. There was an easel next to a pile of empty canvases and a bookshelf. Deidara's sketchbook was lying on the desk, along with a laptop and headphones. There was a wire connecting the speakers on the bookshelf and the IPod on the desk.

Sasori picked it up, switching it on. He picked the most recently played song and put it on play. A soft melody played by a guitar filled the room, before a girl started singing, soon being joined by others.

"I didn't expect you to be into K-pop," Sasori said, raising his eyebrows as he recognized the song Lonely by 2NE1.

"Why should you?" Deidara asked indifferently. "There's hardly anything you know about me."

Sasori nodded, smiling a little sadly. "True," he admitted.

Deidara sat down behind his desk, turning the computer on as the redhead went to check out the books he had on the shelf. The blonde checked his email; seeing he had a new letter from his mother, he opened it.

"Damn," Deidara muttered under his breath after reading the email.

"Something wrong?" Sasori asked, turning around to look at him.

The blonde shook his head, shutting the computer down. "Nothing. My mother's coming back tomorrow for a few days."

"That's good, right?" Sasori said almost carelessly, turning back to the books. Deidara didn't reply, only crisscrossed his legs on the chair, looking at his guest.

"Deidara?" the redhead said, shifting his attention from the shelf to the blonde. "Would you want to go to the movies with me?"

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><p>Sasori and Deidara stepped out of the black Lamborghini, closing the doors together at the same time. They stepped into the cinema and went to the queue for tickets. Sasori had suggested the blonde to pick the movie, but he had declined, saying he'd be fine with anything the older male chose.<p>

Deidara bought them drinks and popcorn to become even with the last time they had eaten out at the restaurant, ignoring the redhead who said there was no need. The commercials were still on when they entered the auditorium and sat down.

The movie was about a teenage girl, Kasumi, who is one of the 160 chosen to be put into a cold sleep, lying in a capsule hoping for the future cure for "Medusa", a deadly virus that has become a worldwide epidemic. Although Deidara had never been into movies and TV that much, he found this movie quite to his liking. Watching this made him even smile a little, something very rare for him.

"Did you enjoy the movie?" Sasori asked, sitting on the opposite side of the table than the blonde, in the cinema's cafe.

Deidara was looking down, sipping his smoothie, before answering. "Yes, I liked it."

The redhead let a little satisfied smile appear on his face as he watched the younger male play with the straw. "Who was your favourite character?"

Deidara raised his gaze slowly. "I liked Marco. You know, Mr. Tattooed Muscles."

Sasori chuckled lowly at the nickname, and nodded, hoping the blonde would continue.

"Well, he was funny and... cool," Deidara said, finding it a little difficult to choose the right adjectives. Not having a real conversation with anyone for years had made its damage on his social skills. Sasori, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind. "Who was yours?" the blonde asked, feeling slight happiness for being able to continue the conversation on his own.

Sasori took his time to think before answering. "I liked Tim, the little boy. I always find kids, who come to their own conclusions, even when not being fully aware of all the details of the situation; conclusions that often turn out to be surprisingly precise."

Deidara took the last sip from his smoothie, shaking it to confirm it was completely empty. He stood up and went to the trash can, throwing it away, and returned to the redhead, not bothering to sit down.

"I'll drive you home," Sasori said with a charming smile, standing up as well. Deidara nodded numbly, looking down to not let the sadness in his eyes show. They went back to the car, Deidara wondering the whole time what he should say when they reach his home. None of the ideas he had seemed good enough to explain what was going on in his mind. Somewhere deep inside, he was sure he knew what to say, put putting thoughts into words can be a lot harder without any practice.

When they reached his house, the blonde stiffened a little, knowing the time for him to say something had come.

"Um...," he mumbled, playing with the seatbelt nervously. "Thank you, Sasori. I had fun." He counted to ten mentally, before daring to look up and meet the redhead's gaze.

Sasori smiled gently, making the blonde relax as well. "I had too. See you at school?"

Deidara nodded, not risking trying to smile, and opened the door, stepping into the already dark evening. He waved shyly as a goodbye at the doorway, before stepping inside and closing the door. He went straight to his room, taking his jacket off on the bed, throwing it onto the ground. Without bothering to undress, he crawled under the sheets, feeling tears starting to stream down his face as he forced his eyes shut. Wishing for the morning not to come, he fell asleep.

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><p><em>So, anyone recognized the movie? A hint: The movie is an animated movie and is based on a manga written by Yuji Iwahara. There's also an anime series of it. Too many hints?<em>

_Thank you for reading._

_R&R!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Heyy people. So, the movie in the last chapter was "King of Thorn" and it's really awesome, I recommend it. I went to see it in the movies during JAFF (Jaapani Animatsiooni Filmifestival aka Japanese Animated Film Festival) and seriously, it has to be one of the most amazing things I've seen in my life. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating it a little, but it was very cool._

_I know the chapters for this fic are coming out a little short, but I actually think I like it better this way. Let me know in the reviews i you prefer longer chapters over quicker updates. _

_I don't own anything, except the plot. Not even the lyrics._

_I hope you enjoy it._

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><p>Deidara pressed his face against the pillow to cover his eyes from the lonely sunrays shining through his window. Knowing he couldn't put waking up off any longer, he sat up, rubbing his red swollen eyes, finding them a little sore. He got out of the bed and went down the stairs to get breakfast, the clothes he'd worn yesterday still on. Grabbing a full milk carton from the fridge, he filled a bowl with cacao cereal and poured the liquid right on top of it.<p>

After finishing his meal, he was just about to wash the dishes when he heard the doorknob turn. Deidara dumped his bowl in the sink and ran to the corridor to greet his mother. A single glance at the woman's face confirmed the blonde's fears that she was in a bad mood again.

"Hey," Deidara muttered, looking down. When he got no response, the boy turned around, heading back to the kitchen to finish his dishes. He heard his mother's footsteps coming closer and then fading away as she went upstairs.

The blonde let out a quiet sigh as he began to think of the places he could go to kill time and get out of his mother's sight. He'd already decided to settle for just getting out of the house for starters, when he heard her yelling from the upstairs, making him flinch.

More than unwillingly, he went up the stairs, only to find a pair of flaming eyes staring at him. Forcing himself to keep eye contact, Deidara looked up.

"Where's your brother?" the female asked angrily, demonstrating the 'If looks could kill' phrase in reality.

"With his friends," Deidara answered silently, finding it difficult to stop blinking.

"Speak up so I can hear you!" the woman snapped irritatedly.

"With his friends," the boy repeated louder.

"I told you he was grounded! Why didn't you keep an eye on him like I asked?"

Deidara broke the eye contact and looked down, not having a single thing to say as an answer, he resigned subduedly to listening his mother yell at him. Through years he had acquired ways to stop himself from bursting into tears every time she was like this, since he knew that would've made her only angrier.

"He's your little brother, show some sense of responsibility at least!"

_He's only a year younger than I am__. He's already 15. What do you want me to do? Get in a fight with him? Why am I the one getting yelled at, not him?_Deidara thought bitterly as his mother continued. 

"What do you have to say for yourself?" the woman asked, crossing her arms and letting out an irritated sigh when the boy didn't answer. _"Look at me when I'm talking to you!"_

Deidara raised his head slowly, shivering a little when he realized it wouldn't be long 'til a tear would be running down his cheek. He felt his head burning up as he tried to think of a suitable answer, in spite of the fact it wouldn't matter what he said, the result would always be the same – mother getting angrier. He'd made up his mind long ago not to answer any of her questions when she was in a state like that. Unfortunately, that decision had, like everything else in this world, its own consequences.

"ANSWER WHEN I ASK YOU A QUESTION!" his mother's voice was so full of anger, every metal singer would've respected her had they heard the screaming. Deidara just stood there, staring into his mother's disgusted eyes, relieved he was already starting to feel numb. That was the best defence he'd ever had.

"I never thought _my _child would grow up to be so irresponsible," she said, turning around to go to her own bedroom. "Had I foreseen it, I would've thought twice before giving birth to you."

The blonde boy just kept standing there, even when his mother was out of sight, only because he knew she would be back and if she didn't find him here then, she would come to his room, which was somewhat even worse. _You call me irresponsible? Do you even KNOW what your other son is up to? All those bottles he's emptied, all the cigarettes he's smoked? _Deidara felt the urge to just shout becoming unbearable in him again, not leaving him alone. His fists began to shake as he punched the wall, hurting his hand but not enough to take his mind off his mother. _Is she even aware of how unfair her accusations are? _

Every time this happened, Deidara just wanted to let everything go and run away somewhere far and find out if his mother would even care. He wanted to see her face when, after years of unsuccessful search, she'd find her son's dead body with a note that said "_I hate you". _Would she understand that it was her fault or would she blame his puberty and hormones? Would she realize it wasn't her son, but herself that built an unbreakable wall between them?

Deidara's thoughts were interrupted when his mother came back, making him jump back to the place he'd been when she'd left. The blonde boy forced all the words that came to his mind down.

"I thought I told you to cut that bloody hair and to stop using that black eyeliner! You honestly look like a slutty girl," she said as she passed the boy, making him flinch a little.

The woman left him standing there as she went down the stairs, unaware of the fresh wounds she'd just made. Unfortunately, Deidara wasn't as oblivious as his mother and felt the new openings in his heart slowly starting to bleed, streaming down like the tears down his cheeks.

Knowing she wouldn't be back any time soon, he went to his room, stumbling over his own feet and falling down, hitting his head against the desk. Those words he heard almost every day he was with his mother, always affected him like poison, leaving him numb on the outside while burning and demolishing him on the inside.

Deidara kept lying there, trying to force his breathing that sounded more like panting, to go back to normal, counting the seconds that passed by in his head to block out all thoughts from his mind. He waited until his hands didn't shake anymore and got up. Going through his stuff in the bottom of his wardrobe, he found his backpack and tossed his mobile, wallet, IPod and sketchbook into it, zipping it closed.

He grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair and walked down the stairs, slowing down a little when he reached the ground floor. His hopes of not meeting his mother on his way out were crushed as the woman stepped into the corridor. Quickly, Deidara turned around to face the door so she wouldn't see his tears.

"Where are you going?" she asked, her arms crossed.

The boy swallowed, trying to make his voice sound as natural as possible while answering. "Out. To take a walk."

"Where exactly?" she pressed, stepping closer. "Are you crying?" Annoyance in her voice was so obvious, even a toddler could've spotted it without any difficulties.

Deidara shook his head, praying the woman would just leave it at that.

"You obviously _are!" _his mother snapped irritatedly. "What's _wrong _with you? You live like a royal cat and have _everything _you want!"

_Everything besides a normal family, _Deidara corrected her mentally, closing his eyes.

"It looks like your life is just _too convenient a_nd you don't know how to appreciate it. Try surviving on the streets for a week to actually learn to appreciate what you have!"

_Good idea, I might just try it. There is no way it'd be worse than here. After living here, I'm certain I'd even greet hell with a wide smile. _

"Tell me, what's wrong? _What on Earth do you lack of?" _

Deidara shook his head, giving a quiet, yet bitter "nothing", before opening the door to spare himself the rest of the conversation.

Without giving his mother the chance to say anything, he dashed out of the door, running through the front yard, praying she wouldn't follow him. He cursed under his breath as their dog started to chase him, mistaking Deidara's running for the wish to play with him. With some luck, the blonde boy was able to close the gate after him before the mongrel could catch him. Forbidding his eyes to look back, he started to walk down the street without a clue where he was going. Didn't matter, anywhere was better than here.

After turning around the first corner, he stopped for a moment, opening his backpack to find his IPod. He went through his playlist, finding the song he'd been looking for and clicking play. The familiar intro made him feel somewhat more secure, giving him the confidence he wouldn't collapse there on the street.

He could feel the tears stopping, leaving his eyes a little sore, as he listened to the chorus. _...make me wanna die. I'll never be good enough, you make me wanna die. And everything you love, will burn up in the light. Every time I look inside your eyes... you make me wanna die. _

The thought about leaving this world had haunted him since two years ago, when he was 14. He didn't feel like he had anything left to lose, but something inside him made him hold on to that miserable life of his. Without even knowing when exactly, he'd come to the agreement with himself he'd wait until he was 18. Since he had already got nothing to lose, a few years didn't make such difference to him. On the other hand, suicides like hanging yourself or pulling the trigger and sending a bullet flying through your head just didn't feel right to him. If he was already going to leave, it would've been better to at least take the most of it. Like taking a bullet for someone else or pushing someone out of the way of a car while knowing you won't make it yourself like that.

When Deidara looked up again, he realized he'd ended up in the city park. Weariness getting the better of him, he sat down on an empty bench, bringing his legs against his chest and wrapping his arms around them, resting his head on his knees. The song was about to end when he went under.

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><p><em>For those of you who remember what Deidara's mother was like in the beginning of the first chapter, yes, it's still the same person. You'll find out more about her in the future.<em>

_Thank you for reading, the song was Make Me Wanna Die by The Pretty Reckless._

_R&R_


	6. Chapter 6

_Be ready, here comes another short chapter of "Will you save me?". I would've finished it earlier, but I got my computer SO fucked up it was almost leaking viruses. -.- Totally not cool. _

_Oh and, school starts on 1st Semptember, meaning I won't have as much time to write as I have during this summer. So, sorry. But I will try not to keep you waiting for very long._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto._

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><p>"What's a hot chick like you doing in a place like this all alone?"<p>

Deidara woke up to a stranger's voice, snapping his eyes open immediately. He saw a group of four teenage boys, none of them older than 17, standing in front of him. Judging by the sun, it couldn't have been later than 6 pm. The one who had spoken, a silver haired boy with scar-like tattoos under his eyes, raised Deidara's chin and chuckled. "You _are_ alone, right?"

The blonde shoved the hand away and stood up, starting to walk away. "Leave me alone, shitfaces."

There was an obnoxious laughter in the group as the captain bastard blocked Deidara's way, making him look up.

"Leaving so soon, princess?" he teased playfully, clearly not having any intentions of letting the blonde go.

"I'm a damn male," Deidara hissed, causing another laughter to be born.

"Sure, and my grandma has a dick," the silver haired boy retorted, his laughter louder than any of the other guys'.

"I bet it is longer than yours," Deidara muttered, passing the stranger, his eyes on the ground. Even though it was his first time being harassed like this, he couldn't detect a scared emotion in himself. Only numbness. Eternal numbness that never left his side.

Deidara felt someone grab his arm, pulling him back. "No, you're not going anywhere." The other guys had already gathered around them, circling him like hawks around a prey. He could feel the bastard wrap his hand around him, sliding it into his backpocket and grab his ass.

"Let GO!" Deidara shouted and jerked the hand away. For a moment he was left standing there in the middle of a circle, before he pushed the guy in front of him out of the way and ran off.

Deidara abandoned the path and dashed through the woods, not risking looking back to see if he was being followed. Dim rays of hysteria were beginning to shine through his emotionless shield, making his legs feel like noodles. He couldn't help but feel the tears starting to run down his cheeks as he forced his feet to keep moving.

The air seemed to be a lot colder than before, the wind blowing into his face and making it even harder to breath. Deidara reached the street just before he heard that obnoxious laughter again. He glanced back for a mere second, catching a glimpse of the two boys behind him.

Numerous drivers were compelled to jerk down the break pedal in order not to run over the blonde teenage boy that crossed the road at the speed of a wild animal who'd seen fire. Had he come to a stop when he heard the sounds of car horns, the adults sitting in the vehicles would've noticed the desperation and fear painted all over his face.

His breaths coming out in pants, threatening to suffocate him, Deidara kept moving, even though he was soon forced to slow down a little. Going from running to very ungraceful walking, the boy turned to walk down a backstreet, hoping to stay less noticeable this way.

He had walked a few hundred metres when he felt dizzy and the need to sit down. No wonder, the only thing he'd eaten that day was a bowl of cereal. Deidara sat down behind a dumpster, resting his head against the cold stone wall of a building. He closed his eyes, trying to gather a little strength to continue moving, since it was obvious it would soon get chilly and he couldn't stay there.

Deidara felt his heart skip a beat when he heard the same already familiar talking not far away.

"Hey, blondie, come out, come out wherever you are!"

"You can run, but you can't hide!" This time, it was a different voice, but no less obnoxious. There were loud snorts and laughter filling the street, making shivers that had nothing to do with the weather run down Deidara's spine as he tried to press himself even more between the dumpster and the wall. This really wasn't how he'd wanted to die.

He heard the footsteps coming closer and closer, when all of a sudden, someone kicked the dumpster, making it roll on the wheels and fall over. This, of course, exposed Deidara completely.

"How did you know she was there?" One of the bastards asked the kicker, dumbly staring at the blonde like all the rest.

"I didn't. I just wanted to kick the dumpster."

If luck had been a person, Deidara would've wanted to beat him to death, bring him back to life, only to kill him again. He swallowed slowly and stood up, trying to avoid making any sudden movements. He felt like he was being observed by a group of wild lions. He almost felt like saying "There, there. Nice kitty!" but was certain he wouldn't be able to speak even if he'd manage to open his mouth. Instead, he just kept standing there, pressing himself against the wall, when he saw the leader let a smirk appear on his face as he stepped closer.

"Hey there darling. You run fast," he said mockingly. It was only when he was a metre away, Deidara attempted to make a run for it, but was pinned back against the wall. In spite of the silver headed male clearly being a lot stronger than him, the blonde still kept struggling, not willing to go down without a fight.

The other male chuckled darkly, keeping his face only inches away from the blonde's. "What do you think the odds are of you actually escaping?"

"Hopefully bigger than your brain and dick put together, otherwise they'd be below zero," Deidara spat, making the smirk on the bastard's face vanish. He knew irritating the male was probably the stupidest thing he could've done, but he didn't even bother holding himself back. Couldn't make things much worse than they already were now could they?

The grip around his arms tightened, when the guys behind them were laughing their heads off because of Deidara's remark.

"Shut up, shitheads," the silver headed boy snapped, looking at his comrades. Deidara decided to use the situation to his own advantage, kicking the son of a bitch into the groin as hard as he could. The older male jerked away, his hands on the same spot where a second ago had been the blonde's foot.

Deidara started running, ignoring the voice in his head that telling him he would collapse any second now. The splashes in the puddles behind him told him the bastards were running after him. He turned around a corner, only to find the head bastard standing in front of him. Damn shortcuts.

Deidara turned around to run back when the older male stepped closer, but was pushed back into the bastard's lap by the comrades who had caught up.

"Let GO!" Deidara yelled, when the silver headed male wrapped his arms around him, stopping him from struggling.

"Now now, just relax. It will hurt a lot less then," the blonde heard the voice say, right before he felt a needle enter his neck. All his muscles tensed when a foreign liquid made its way into his body, spreading quickly like a plague. He stopped struggling, finding it impossible to even move. Deidara could feel himself starting to collapse when his vision became blurry.

He could hear muffled voices talking, when he fell on the ground, still trying to keep himself up on his arms. He looked up and saw the vague outlines of 5 or more figures moving. A distant voice in his head told him there were more people than there had been before.

He heard yelling and loud screams that still seemed so quiet. He could sense someone falling down beside him. The liquid in his body was spreading rapidly, he could tell since it was eating his energy away. Deidara felt his hands starting to give away. Raising his head once more, he caught a glimpse of the contrast between red and a pale skin colour.

"Sasori..." Deidara whispered the name before his face made contact with the ground.

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><p><em>I need to work on my we're-so-gonna-rape-u-now and I'm-drugged-and-almost-unconscious-but-can-still-hear-and-sense-and-see-stuff describtions. Sorry.<em>

_R&R_

_Thanks for reading_


	7. Chapter 7

_I know it's been a while since I uploaded this story, but these updates are quicker than most of my fave stories have, so I can still be proud. GOD DAMN IT. Fave stories... Y U NO UPDATE ? _

_And yeah, yeah, this chapter is short, so what else is new? If I had written Dei's POV of what's going to happen next as well, it would've taken me 5 more days ('til Sunday). _

_I don't usually give any SPECIAL thanks to my reviewers, simply because I appreciate all the reviews equally, and I'm not gonna change my habits now, BUT AkatsukiMemberEien, if you're reading this, thank you for having such an awesome taste in music. I think it was in Sexy Stalker (I may be wrong) that you mentioned 3 Doors Down. Damn, they rock xD I have no idea why I just didn't PM you to thank you, didn't feel like it, I guess._

_You all know the bloody disclaimer, so I'm not gonna waste my time on writing it, instead I'm wasting my time on writing WHY it is I won't write it, which takes even longer than writing the actual disclaimer. _

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><p>Sasori was walking down the street when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He took it out and checked the caller ID before answering. It was Pein.<p>

"Yo Pein."

"_Dude, where are you?"_

"On my way to the park. We were supposed to meet there, remember?"

"_YEAH. 10 minutes ago."_

"I will be there in 5 minutes."

"_You'd better or you'll be doing my homework for the rest of the month."_

Sasori chuckled and ended the call, slipping his phone back into his pocket. He could already see the trees of the park, but just in case, to be on the safe side, he quickened his pace. The wind was cold when it blew to his face and it was already getting darker, even though it wasn't even past 6 pm yet. The colourful leaves that had fallen down formed many small heaves that rustled when you walked through them.

Scattering the leaves, a girl fell into a heave just like that, laughing and pulling a boy down with her. Sasori smiled when he recognized the couple that was trying to get back up again, and walked over to them.

"Having fun?" he asked, making the teenagers turn around.

"Hey Sasori!" Konan exclaimed happily, wrapping herself around Pein, attempting to make the boy fall down again.

"Glad you could drop by," Pein retorted, half of the sarcasm lost in his attempts not to fall. He wrapped his arms around the blue-haired girl and pressed her back against his chest, holding her still. "Hidan and Kakuzu were just here, I don't know where they went." He said, looking around, but shifting his gaze back to meet Konan's, when he heard the girl giggle.

Sasori looked around as well and saw two boys walking towards them, both eating a kebab. He laughed and said, "I see them."

"Motherfucker! You fucking kept us waiting in this shitty weather!" Hidan yelled from a distance, quickening his pace and almost dropping his snack.

Sasori laughed out loud, "Sorry!"

"IF SORRY WAS ALWAYS ENOUGH, THERE'D BE NO NEED FOR HELL, FUCKER!" Hidan broke into a run, chasing the redhead in circles around the park. Sasori kept laughing while running, almost suffocating when he saw Hidan dropping his food. He came to a stop and wrapped his arms around himself, his stomach hurting from laughing.

Hidan's loud cursing attracted Pein's, Konan's and Kakuzu's attention as they walked closer, curious of what had happened. Sasori was about to explain when he saw a familiar blonde passing him at the speed of light, not even taking notice of him. Deidara abandoned the usual pathway and ran across the field and through the woods, headed towards an opposite direction to his home.

Sasori kept staring dumbfoundedly, looking after the boy together with his friends who had stopped talking as well.

"Hey, wasn't that...?" Konan started to ask, but was cut off by an obnoxious laughter coming from a group of teenagers, who passed Sasori the same way Deidara had and ran along the trail the blonde had made on the ground covered with leaves.

"Run blonde, just run! We'll catch you either way!" One of the boys yelled when they were already a few hundred metres away.

"Sasori, do you think they meant...?" Konan started to ask sheepishly, looking at the redhead with concern covering her face.

"They meant Deidara," Sasori hissed, dashing after the gang.

"Wait up, fucker!" Hidan yelled after him, but the boy didn't listen. Probably because he was already out of hearing distance. The silver-headed male sighed, sounding annoyed and started running after him, the others following right behind him. The traffic light had just turned green when they crossed the road. Not that a red light could've stopped Sasori, but it would've slowed Hidan and the others down.

The four friends caught up with the redhead soon enough, since he had come to a stop.

"Where did they go?" Pein asked, panting slightly.

Sasori looked around anxiously like he was racing against time and continued walking forwards, although he was clueless of Deidara's location. Keeping his legs moving at least created the illusion he was _doing _something. They passed a backstreet after another, always scanning them before moving on. The search remained unsuccessful for more than 15 minutes, until Sasori stopped suddenly, looking back like someone had called his name.

His friends looked at him questioningly, but remained silent.

"I heard him," Sasori mumbled, starting to walk back carefully. He paused after every five steps, trying to listen to confirm it hadn't only been his imagination.

"I don't fucking hear anything," Hidan said matter-of-factly, breaking the silence all the others had tried to keep.

Sasori paused for another five seconds, before breaking into a run again. "I did."

Kakuzu, Pein and Konan automatically followed him, ignoring the silver-headed teen who remained still, his face clearly reading 'What the fuck?'.

"What the fuck are you? Another damn vampire?" After cussing for a minute on the spot, Hidan gave up and broke into a run as well, easily catching up with his friends. They turned around a corner into an abandoned-looking side street, following Sasori's lead.

That was when they heard someone yelling "LET GO!" a few metres away. Sasori was at full speed when he turned around the corner, punching the first random person standing there in the face. Luckily, it wasn't Deidara.

A white-haired boy fell to the ground, a syringe rolling onto the asphalt from his hand. It took the redhead less than a second to spot his blonde and throw the asshole holding him against his bastard comrade. Deidara, released from the grip, fell down on his knees and hands, struggling to stay conscious.

Sasori would've caught him, had he not been grabbed from behind and punched into the stomach from the front. Damn, that hurt. The redhead bent forward, attempting to break free from the grip and kicked the teen in front of him to the groin. He was lucky all the bastards in the gang were male. Reaching the chest with his foot would've been a lot more difficult in the position he was in.

Sasori punched his attacker, who was still holding him tightly, into the stomach with his elbow and, once free, turned around with a foot kick against the side of the teen's head. God bless capoeira.

"Fuck you, Sasori! You only left that coward who's running away for us!" Kakuzu complained when he reached the battlefield with the rest of his friends. Fortunately for him, the ones kicked to the ground were starting to recuperate and get up, their fists clenched. But Sasori didn't pay any attention to them, the other could take them on themselves.

He stepped in front of Deidara, who weakly raised his head and looked at him.

"Sasori..." he whispered quietly, before collapsing on the ground. This surprised the redhead, that the younger male had still been able to recognize him. The drug should've completely clouded his vision by now.

Sasori ducked lower and raised the blonde's eyelid. There was no doubt about him being completely out anymore. He heard Pein and Konan approach, walking right through the fight and not letting Hidan and Kakuzu throwing punches bother them.

"What're you going to do with him?" Pein asked, motioning towards the blonde teen lying on the ground.

Sasori picked Deidara up bridal style and turned to go, stepping over another body of an unconscious bastard. What a waste of organs.

"My apartment's a few blocks from here. I'm going to take him there," Sasori said and walked away.

"Want some help?" Pein offered, but his friend was already too far away to hear. He felt Konan press her face into his shoulder and chuckle a little. He gave him a questioning look, not understanding what the girl found funny about the whole situation.

"Imagine the looks on the people's faces they pass," Konan said, explaining her laughter. Pein thought about it for a moment and chuckled as well, looking after the two males that had already gone out of sight. Someone should've taken a picture of them.

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><p><em>OH GOD I'M GONNA BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!<em>

_BYE!_

_R&R_


	8. Chapter 8

_Due to all my on-going stories, I haven't had time to update this one in... a month? But here's a new chapter now! (Yes, you're welcome ^~^)_

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><p>Deidara opened his eyes and found himself staring at a ceiling he most definitely did not recognize. Maybe it was because of the Megan Fox poster staring right back at him, or maybe it was the fact that the ceiling was painted black. Couldn't tell. He closed his eyes again, trying to bury his headache under his eyelids and kill it before it killed him. A voice inside of his head asked him if he was dead. It was a sweet thought, but hard to believe. He didn't have such luck.<p>

"Deidara?" he heard someone say, just as he felt something coming up inside of him. He bent over the edge of the bed, feeling utterly relieved to find a big bowl waiting for him there, to spare the carpet. He rolled on his back again, wiping his mouth clean with the back of his hand, hating the taste in his mouth. For a second he thought he was going to fall asleep again, but decided it was a false alarm. His eyelids seemed to be swollen from being closed for a long time.

Deidara sat up, blinking his eyes instead of rubbing them. He looked around in the room and for a minute he actually believed he had landed in hell. The room's wallpapers were diagonally striped red and black, giving the room a multi-dimensional look. The desk, the laptop, the shelves and the bed were all checkered themed, combining purple, dark blue, white and dark green with black. The carpet was all black and so was the ceiling, except that the ceiling was covered with different posters of actors, bands and singers.

"Are you awake?" a voice next to him made Deidara jump. He looked at the source of the voice, seeing a familiar redhead staring into his eyes.

"Well, it's kind of obvious, isn't it?" Deidara replied, his tone a little hoarse, and coughed. Sasori passed him a cup of water from the cupboard. "Thanks."

"No, it really isn't obvious. You've sat up, talked, thrown up and gone back to sleep at least three times already. I can't be sure if you're awake at the moment, or whether you're talking in your sleep again."

Deidara emptied his class, handed it back to the redhead and yawned, falling on his back. "I'm awake," Deidara stated, a little unconvincingly perhaps. He was feeling strange, possibly the drug's after effect. "What time is it?"

"Eleven pm."

This made Deidara snap his eyes open and sit up immediately, forgetting his stomach ache at once. "Holy shit, my mum's going to kill me. I need to get home."

"Don't worry, I called her two hours ago. I told her you'd come over, then gotten sick and lied down, eventually falling asleep. She sounded worried, but I convinced her my parents allowed you to stay overnight. She even brought you your books for tomorrow's classes."

Deidara's eyes grew huge as he listened to Sasori, but at the same time, he felt relieved. His mother's mood must've improved, while he'd been out. While he'd been... thinking about what had happened, made Deidara go pale and Sasori gave him a little concerned look, afraid the blond might faint.

"Sasori, did you know those guys?"

The redhead's expression changed so drastically, it made Deidara wince. He'd never thought Sasori could look so... threatening.

"That was Zori and his gang. They roam about town, jump on teens, who're alone, threaten them so they'd buy drugs from them, or make them take the drugs by force, so the teens eventually become addicted to it and are compelled to buy drugs. I think it was merely a sleeping drug they injected to your body."

The thought of being unconscious around that gang hit Deidara and made him shiver. Without Sasori, he would've been...

A knock on Sasori's door made them both jump, when a little, perhaps 5 years old, redheaded boy stepped into the room, a brown teddy bear tightly in his grip.

Sasori smiled. "Come here, Gaara," he said and motioned for the boy to come in. The boy ran to his older brother's lap happily, his eyes stopping on and observing Deidara carefully.

"Who is this, Sasori?" he asked in a high-pitched childish voice that sounded adorable. He was wearing green PJs, with dinosaurs on them. His eyelids were dark, like they'd been colored black and there was a red kanji on his forehead.

"I told you before, this is Deidara, my friend. Deidara, this is Gaara, my little brother."

Deidara smiled shyly and waved. "Hey."

Gaara smiled as well and stood up, running out of the room again. The two looked after him as he closed the door.

"Would you want something to eat?" Sasori offered, turning back to the blond.

Deidara looked hesitant. "Aren't your parents asleep yet?"

Sasori laughed. "No one goes to sleep before 1 am in this family. 2 am, if we're talking about Gaara," he said and stood up. "So, what was that, a yes?"

Deidara nodded and got up as well, following Sasori to the kitchen living room, where two adults were sitting/lying on the sofa, watching TV. Deidara recognized the movie Cruel Intentions on the screen, one of the few movies he loved.

As the two entered, Sasori's parents turned to look at them. Deidara felt his face go tomato-red as he blushed, feeling more than awkward with the adults' eyes on him. He had no idea what he should do and instinctively, he grabbed Sasori's hand, squeezing it tightly, before giving a low "Hello" to the redhead's parents.

The two faces seemed to instantly grow friendly, Deidara wasn't sure if he'd imagined this, and smile at him. "Hello, you must be Deidara," the relatively young female with long dark hair that was in a messy bun said sweetly. "I'm Sasori's mother. You may call me Chiyo."

Deidara nodded. "Nice to meet you."

"I'm Ebizo," Sasori's father gave a short introduction, slowly turning back to watch the TV.

Deidara nodded again and then followed Sasori to the kitchen part of the room. Sasori stepped to the fridge, opening it, before closing it promptly.

"What would you like?"

Deidara shrugged. "I don't like mushrooms, everything else is fine."

Sasori laughed and reopened the fridge, fishing out some material for a sandwich. Deidara watched him work, not realizing he was staring until the redhead returned the look. Deidara blushed slightly, thanking him quietly, before taking the sandwich and starting to eat it.

"Do you want anything to drink? Milk?"

Deidara nodded eagerly, the sudden enthusiasm brought on by his never dying love for milk. Sasori smiled and filled a glass for him, before putting the carton back in the fridge. Deidara finished quickly, placing the dishes on the counter. Sasori put them in the sink and took Deidara's hand, leading them quietly back to his room, without disturbing his parents.

He closed the door with a low click, before turning around and facing the blond.

"What do you want to do now?"

Deidara stood there awkwardly, keeping glancing at the bed. "Well, in my house, my parents demand that I go to bed at 10 pm, and since we have school tomorrow and I still have to wake up..." the blond trailed off.

"...you want to go to sleep," Sasori finished the sentence for him.

Deidara nodded. "Although I'm not sure if I'm going to fall asleep right away."

Sasori shrugged and went to his closet, pulling out a mattress and some white sheets. "Won't matter, you'll always have me to talk to. It won't hurt to try at least."

Deidara felt Sasori's caring words squeezing his hard tightly, causing an uncomfortable feeling in his chest. He crossed his arms, trying to act natural, as he watched the redhead set up the extra bed next to his own.

Once he was ready, Sasori motioned towards his own bed. "You'll take that one."

Deidara frowned, shaking his head. "No, I can't kick you out of your own bed. I'll sleep on the mattress."

"Guests don't sleep on mattresses. You will sleep in my bed," Sasori said, smiling, and wrapped his arms around the blond, lifting him off the ground and putting him down on the bed.

"No!" Deidara protested, not letting go of the boy. "Put me on the mattress! On the mattress!"

Sasori chuckled, trying to pull out of the grip and failing. "You sure have guts for someone who just recently got drugged."

"On the mattress! On the mattress!" Deidara's ranting went on until he was silenced by Sasori's finger on his lips.

"Shh! You will either sleep on the bed, or you'll have to share the bed. Either way, you'll be staying _on this bed._"

Deidara frowned, but shut up, letting go of the redhead. Sasori smirked triumphally and got off the bed, switching off the lights before lying down on the mattress. He pulled the covers over him and started counting the posters on the ceiling, one of his favourite methods to kill time.

It didn't take long for the blond to realize that he wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon. Quietly, he rolled to his side, Sasori's opened eyes meeting his own immediately. Had he really thought the redhead would be asleep?

"Sasori..." Deidara said in a quiet whining voice, watching the redhead sit up. "I can't fall asleep."

Even in the dark he could see the redhead's mouth growing into a smirk. Sasori reached out for his chin, holding it in his palm and catching him off guard.

"Then stay still for a moment," Sasori whispered as he slowly moved closer, seeing shock reflecting in the blond's eyes. Without a second thought, he connected their lips, holding the position for a couple of seconds. He let the sensation sink into the blond, before he pulled away.

They both opened their eyes simultaneously, different emotions reflecting on their faces. Silence remained between them, while Deidara tried to calm himself and keep his breathing normal.

"I thought you were straight," he finally breathed, his eyes glancing at the Megan Fox poster on the ceiling.

Sasori chuckled. "Bi."

* * *

><p><em>To be continued...<em>

_Oh, and sad news. A few more chapters and this story is probably coming to an end. I think. Haven't decided yet._


	9. Chapter 9

_Surprised by the quick update? :D Well, there's a reason for this. I want to finish this story ASAP, since I've FINALLY gotten the ending figured out (it's the first time lol). Ok, I'm bluffing. To be precise, I ALMOST have the ending figured out. I still haven't decided whether Dei's going to die or not. Tension rising? Really, I'm thinking of writing an alternative ending perhaps... since I'm pretty 50-50 atm._

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><p>When Deidara opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed was that the ceiling was a lot more far away than it had been, when he'd closed his eyes. He looked around and saw that he was no longer lying on the bed, but on the mattress. Guess whose arms were wrapped around him?<p>

Reasoning that he was still asleep, he closed his eyes, when he felt Sasori roll onto his back, pulling him on top of him.

"I know you're awake, Dei," he said, kissing the blond's forehead.

Deidara's eyes went wide open from the touch. Last night memory came back to him, but somehow he didn't find it in him to believe it'd been real.

"I thought last night was a dream," he whispered, his voice sounding like he was about to cry. No matter how embarrassing he thought it was, a tear rolled down his cheek and he hid his face in the redhead's chest.

"Deidara?" Sasori said, worry obvious in his voice. "Are you crying?"

He felt Deidara shake his head, although the sobs coming from him were hardly matching this. Sasori sighed and sat up, the blond moving with him. He raised the blond's chin and, with a little struggling, got him to look into his eyes. Deidara's eyes were pink, not red yet. He looked down, not daring to keep the eye contact. A blush caused by embarrassment, which outweighed all his other emotions at that moment, covered his face. Why couldn't he just have died right then?

"Deidara, what's wrong?" Sasori asked in a soft voice, which was free of annoyance that Deidara was so afraid of. Nevertheless, the blond didn't answer. Even though Sasori didn't know the reason for the silence, Deidara did. He didn't know what to say. The same situation had happened to him so many times before, it had become an inevitable part of his life. He would start crying. People would ask him what was wrong. He would stay silent, because he didn't know what to say. How could he describe what was going on inside of his mind? Whatever he would say, it wouldn't be the whole truth, for he had no idea how to put his feelings into words. People would take his silence as a sign of stubbornness, sigh, roll their eyes and leave him. All alone.

And that was what was about to happen right now and more than ever he wanted to prevent it. But he couldn't. Just couldn't. The feeling of helplessness and hopelessness was killing him, eating him up from the inside, in addition to everything else. It was nauseating.

Deidara closed his eyes tight, ready to feel Sasori stand up and walk out of the room, to grab some breakfast perhaps, or maybe to go take a shower. They would get ready for school, exchanging as few words as possible. And once they got to school, it would all be over. Nothing would hold him beside Deidara anymore. He would be able to go on with his life, leaving the blond stuck inside of his own prison.

A hand touched the back of Deidara's head, caressing it softly. The feeling was calming and let him relax enough, so he would risk raising his head and opening his eyes. He looked at Sasori, only to see that the redhead was smiling.

"Don't worry, you don't have to tell me now," he said, the words slowly sinking into the blond. Didn't… have to tell him? But could do it later, once he'd figured out what to say? Would that be acceptable? "Now, how about some breakfast?"

The redhead probably had no idea, what kind of affect his simple words had had on the blond. Deidara felt like something heavy had been lifted off of him, not the whole weight, though, but still, most of it. A small shy smile formed on his lips, a happy glint shining in his eyes.

"Yeah."

They both got up and almost ran to the kitchen, Deidara's smile growing by each footstep and second he held the redhead's hand, finally pushing him so far, he let out a giggle.

"We'll be going now!" Sasori said as they put on their shoes in the corridor, his mother standing there in her nightgown, a cup of hot coffee in her hand. She was smiling, although a little sleepily.

"Thank you very much for having me over," Deidara said, looking her in the eyes for a moment, the sincerity in his voice surprising even him.

Chiyo gave him a sweet smile. "You are welcome, sweetie. Sasori's _petit ami _is always welcome here, no matter what time it is. Keep this in mind, 'kay?" Her way of speaking sounded somewhat childish and like a teenage girl, which pretty much matched her looks, but it was sweet and caring at the same time. Deidara was going to miss this.

The two teens waved her goodbye and closed the door, before running down the stairs and out of the apartment complex.

They started walking down the street towards the school, without rushing, since they had plenty of time to spare. Their hands were linked, something Deidara was very aware of, but wasn't sure if the same went for the redhead. A small part of him was praying for it to be so.

"Um, Sasori?" Deidara asked, breaking the silence. "Your mother. Before we left, what did she call me?"

"_Petit ami,"_Sasori half-smiled, looking in front of him, instead of meeting the other's eyes. "Eh… it's the French for boyfriend."

Deidara felt his face go red and now he was glad Sasori was looking the other way. At times like this, his biggest wish was to grow out his bang in a nanosecond so he could hide his face in it. Or, as an alternative, that he would be able to remain calm. Like that would happen. Fortunately for him, it had only happened two or three times before he'd met Sasori, back when he'd still been… younger and more naïve, thus more happy. It seemed like now with Sasori, both the times when he had to blush and the times when he was happy had begun to increase. Did those two always have to coincide for him?

"My mother always refers to French as the 'language of love' and she uses French words for everything love-related. She's weird… and awesome like that. Very understanding."

Deidara still hadn't recovered from the little shock caused by the translation, and thus only nodded. His mind was racing in order to find a different subject to blabber on. He didn't want to go back to silence, but this topic didn't suit him at the moment either. No yet, it was too soon. He would need to spend some time on his own first, some quality time with his own thoughts.

Finally, the light clicked in his head and his face lit up.

"What happened to your car?" A new topic!

The question must've taken Sasori by surprise. Confusion spread across his face as he quirked an eyebrow at him and Deidara instantly regretted his question.

"I mean… I didn't see the black Lamborghini in front of the house or anything. I was just wondering." Deidara had been a little surprised by the fact that Sasori was living in an apartment, not a huge private house, due to the luxurious car. The kind of car a Cullen, to replace the expression 'rich kid', would drive. Deidara was a little afraid of explaining all this, for he feared Sasori might misunderstand and think that the blond was referring to him as poor.

Deidara had grown up in a royal-like household and been mistreated, due to other kids' prejudices against rich kids. This had been one of the main reasons a huge cap had formed between the outside world and the blond, who'd had trouble fitting in and making friends even without that. As a result, he had absolutely no experience talking to his peers, or, to be completely honest, to people in general. None of this helped him in the current situation.

Deidara had never looked at his house as _his _house. It was a house bought for the money his _parents, _not him, had made. That was what had made the prejudice seem all the more unfair. In many ways, growing up in a _normal _home would've been better. Normal, as in a simple comfy apartment or house, without a butler, servants and maids roaming about all the time.

"Oh," Sasori's expression cleared and, much to Deidara's relief, he smiled. "My father works at a car rental and for a few hours of work there, I can rent one car for a period of time, which depends on the hours of work. I had to return the Lamborghini, but I'm thinking of getting a Mercedes for the next two weeks."

Deidara's eyes widened and his mouth formed into a smile. "Can I come along and help the next time you're going to work there?" Something about the job sounded inviting.

"Sure," Sasori replied and kissed the blond on the lips.

Not letting himself think about what he was doing, Deidara wrapped his arms around Sasori's neck, kissing him back. They moved their lips together, until Deidara felt Sasori bite his lower lip. It didn't hurt, but took him by surprise and made him automatically open his mouth. Sasori slid his tongue in, which resulted in the blond going into a frozen state for a second, before he managed to collect himself. He shuddered and squeezed his eyes shut even tighter, letting Sasori have everything he had.

Sasori's exploring tongue invited the blond's to mingle, wrapping around each other and sending a heavenly sensation through both of their bodies. Deidara felt himself getting lost in the feeling and dreams, completely forgetting his need for oxygen. Fortunately, Sasori didn't and pulled away.

Deidara took his time opening his eyes, burying his face in the redhead's chest before doing so. Sasori laughed when the blond's hair tickled him. Deidara moved his head against his chest, like he was trying to get through it, causing the redhead to laugh out even louder.

When he stopped, Sasori pulled out his cell, checking the time and chuckling again. "No matter how much time we have, we still manage to be late," he muttered, more to himself.

"Mh?" Deidara asked, raising his head and waiting for the other to repeat what he'd said.

"We are going to be late."

Deidara let go of him instantly, grabbing the mobile from his hand. "No way!"

He pushed a button to make the screen light up and confirm that Sasori was telling the truth.

"Relax, it's not the end of the world if we're 5 or a few more minutes late," the redhead tried to reassure him, taking his cell back and slipping it into his pocket.

"Yes it is!" Deidara yelled and grabbed his arm, starting to frantically run towards the school, the laughing Sasori following him like a shadow, before he decided to pick up the pace.

"Race ya," he said as he passed the blonde, a winning smirk on his face.

"Hey! No fair!" Deidara exclaimed, bolting after him like his life depended on it. Not sure if it was a miracle or just their fitness that caused it, but they managed to make it on time.

* * *

><p>"Deidara!"<p>

Deidara felt someone shaking him and once he'd raised his head, he realized he'd fallen asleep during the class. Again. At first he'd just ignored the teacher and tried to think some things through and get things straight in his head. Then, at some point, he must've gone under. Figures.

"It's lunch time," Sasori reminded him, having already grabbed both of their books.

"Oh yeah," Deidara said, slowly getting up from his seat. He followed the redhead out of the classroom to the lockers, where they ditched their books, before going to the cafeteria. All the while, he kept silent and his head down. His brain told him that he had gotten things straight enough in his head to share them with Sasori, but deep inside, he wasn't sure if he was ready. Still, he decided to give it a try.

"Um, Sasori?" Deidara called for his attention, once they had sat down at an empty table in the canteen.

The redhead looked up from his food, his face expressionless, like he'd been lost in thoughts as well. No matter how Deidara tried to look at it, he couldn't find encouragement in it. He swallowed, and tried again.

"Um… Remember this morning at your place…? When I… you know, was down and… well, I mean… I…" Deidara closed his mouth, realizing that he was getting nowhere like this. He took a deep breath, trying to recollect himself and get his thoughts straight. What had his point been again? He could feel his eyes starting to tear up, so he closed them, giving an oath to himself that he wasn't going to shed any tears anymore. Today. At least not in front of Sasori.

_Relax, breathe, calm yourself and try to start again._

"Relax, Dei. Breathe, calm yourself and try to start again. I'm listening."

Deidara opened his bewildered eyes, finding Sasori smiling his sweet smile in front of him. Had the guy just read his thoughts? He inhaled slowly.

"I…" _Ohmigod my voice sounds like all the tears from my eyes have gathered there. Embarrassing. No, focus! You're not going to give up this time! Get it fucking out! _"I…"

Deidara paused for a moment, thinking it over, before he just blurted out. "What am I to you, Sasori?" _WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY? _a voice in his head yelled. _Do you really want to lose your only friend?_

He squeezed his eyes shut, afraid of himself now. Why did he have to ruin everything? Couldn't he just shut up? "But please, be honest. I beg you." Guess not_. _

But wait, that was what he'd wanted, right? To say his thoughts out loud, to get answers to the questions haunting his mind. This was a step toward his goal. So he exhaled steadily and waited, slowly starting to calm down. What would come, came. There was no point in trying to stop it.

"Someone, whose found his place in my heart and will not come out." _Was this boy a poet or something? _The thought managed to make its way to Deidara's brain, before his whole mind got flooded by a stormy mixture of feelings he wasn't capable of describing. "I can't say boyfriend, because that word's like a marriage. In order for it to be true, both sides have to say 'I do'."

"I do," Deidara whispered before he could stop himself. A bewildered voice in his head asked him what had gotten into him. There was no answer. His eyes were still closed. "But," he started, opening his eyes in a slow motion. Unfamiliar calmness took over. There was no going back now, but it didn't seem to scare him. It could even be counted as a good thing – he didn't have to struggle with deciding anymore, since there were no other choices left, but to finish what his loud mouth had started. "I don't want it to be something temporary. I don't think I would… I couldn't handle a breakup. I can't be like all the others, who get together for a few weeks and then say it's over. I get in too deep to be able to come up in one piece again."

Deidara felt like he should pride himself with this speech. It'd been struggle and it still felt like he'd left some things out, but even if it was only this one time he'd managed to get things straight, it was still worth remembering.

"I do."

Deidara's eyes, that had wandered off to the table, looked up to meet Sasori's smiling expression. At that moment, had there not been a table between them, Deidara would've thrown his hands around the other male. Damn this stupid table.

* * *

><p><em>To be continued...<em>


	10. Chapter 10

_Heyy, people! A small favour, if you may: Check out my new poll and answer :D It's about this fic, I'm having a hard time deciding how to end it . So, please, if it's not too much trouble, move the mouse to my account name, up there, on your left, yes, no, your OTHER LEFT. Then click on it. Click on the poll bar and answer the question ^^ Thank you for your time._

_Don't be surprised if there are mistakes in this chap - it's 2:30 am, I'm... ehh... almost awake and about to collapse on the chair. I've hardly eaten anything today and the next meal will be breakfast for me. But sleeping people don't feel hunger, so I'm gonna go to bed. Heheh, clever, ain't it? _

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><p>-1 MONTH LATER-<p>

Deidara shoved his sketchbook into his schoolbag, on top of all his books, before zipping it closed and slinging it over his shoulder. The clock on the computer screen showed it was 6:55, way too early to go to school, but he couldn't help it. It almost felt like some invisible strings were pulling his out of the house and to the yellow building most teenagers hated and wanted to set on fire. He chuckled and grabbed his jacket. This had got to be magic.

He rushed out of the door, bumping into his brother, who looked like a truck had run over him. The 15-year old boy looked up, glaring at his smiling sibling.

"Oh, sorry, Izuna," Deidara apologized, his voice like a child's, who has figured out a way to make Christmas last forever. "Good morning! Rough night, eh?" He had already reached the stairs, when he finished his sentence.

Izuna looked after him, sleepiness making his brain even slower to catch on what had just happened. Last night memories of the party he'd been at, still haunted him, keeping getting mixed up with the reality. "Who the fuck was that blonde chick?" he muttered, before pushing the thought aside and stumbling towards the bathroom.

Deidara met his mother and sister downstairs in the kitchen, sitting behind the table and drinking coffee. The blond boy almost flew past them to the fridge and fished out a carton of milk and a musli bar. He sat down behind the table and hurriedly gobbled down his breakfast, his hyper-energetic mood not letting him stay still for long.

His mother looked at him in daze, her eyes asking where his real son was. Deidara's sister's expression was quite the opposite – calm and smiling. The first time she'd seen her brother like this had been a month ago and she'd quickly caught on that there'd been a great change in the boy's life. Love, no doubt. Unlike the rest of the family, she was quick to recognize the symptoms and understood what her brother was going through. That was the reason in addition to sleepiness, happiness covered her face, instead of confusion.

"What has gotten into you?" Deidara's mother asked, stunned by the side of her son she didn't know even existed. "Found a magic fish?"

"Mum!" Matsuri, Deidara's older sister, admonished her mother. "Let Dei smile! You don't always have to make some witty remarks."

"What? It could happen!" Mother joked, making her daughter wonder if she really was older than her, or if it was the other way around. "No, I'm just joking, honey," she said to Deidara. "I'm happy to see you smiling."

Deidara, who hadn't paid any attention to the remarks, only nodded and sat up, putting the carton away in the fridge again. He grabbed his bag and planted a kiss on his sister's cheek, after hugging his mother.

"See you! Love you both!"

"Wait!" his mother called after, not making the boy stop though. Deidara went to the corridor, which was right next to the kitchen, and slipped on his shoes. "Did you get a girlfriend?" he heard his mother ask, giving her best to try to guess the reason for the sudden change.

Meanwhile, Deidara was knocking on the servants' dorm door, loudly enough to wake up the dead. "Someone, give me a lift to school!"

In less than a minute, Tobi, the family's butler, stepped out, fully dressed in outerwear. Obviously the new routine of driving the kid to school didn't surprise him anymore, since it'd been going on for a month by then. The blond clapped his hands and motioned for him to go outside already.

"No, mum," Deidara said, showing up in the kitchen doorway again. "I'm gay." He blew them a kiss and dashed out of the door, leaving his dumbfounded mother and chuckling sister sitting there. Of course, his mother had already been aware of that, but the easygoing manner in which it had been said now, had caught her off guard.

The clock on the car's (Deidara had refused to be seen stepping out of a limousine) monitor showed 7:09 am, when the blond teen waved Tobi goodbye and slammed the car door closed. He didn't even pause to watch the black Maybach Guard pull out of the parking lot and drive away. Had he done that, he would've seen the mouths of the still-in-a-sleep-mode high school boys, sauntering towards the school gates, drop open.

But Deidara didn't have time for that. Before the car had reached the corner, Deidara was already inside the building, leaving his jacket in the school wardrobe and bolting up the stairs. He found Sasori sitting on a bench on the second floor, listening to his IPod. Noticing Deidara, he gave a smile, motioning for the other to come closer. Deidara did and sat down next to him, putting the earphone Sasori gave him, in his ear.

_A freak of nature_

_Stuck in reality_

_I don't fit the picture_

_I'm not what you want me to be_

_Sorry_

"For some reason, I love that verse," Sasori said, before clicking the pause button and picking another song. "But listen to this one."

_So used to being alone_

_Forgot how to get along_

_Made it feel like home_

_In my own cocoon_

_I hear an outsider, coming in my way_

_Lightening my dark cave, like the sun's ray_

_Introduced me to fire, made me shine like gold_

_The eyes that could see in dark, had already been sold_

"What do you think?" Sasori asked, but was silenced by Deidara's finger on his mouth.

"Shh!" the blond said, closing his eyes and rocking in rhythm.

_I can feel my world changing, thanks to you_

_Loneliness is fading, in the offing there's something new_

_I feel my world changing, turning upside down_

_A new feeling inside me_

_It's something new that I've found_

Deidara rested his head on Sasori's shoulder, hearing the boy hum the melody along. The song reminded him of… himself. Like it had been written just for him. It was strange to know that he wasn't the only one, who had gone through a time like that.

_Warmed up by your light_

_Got used to day instead of night_

_Meltdown inside of me_

_Ice erased from my memory_

After the second verse, the chorus repeated. Deidara could tell by the guitar solo that the song's bridge was coming. The instrumental got louder, toying around with half-tones and bringing out the darker sound of the melody.

_The sun started to set, I tried to catch it_

_But it was too far; going into the sea, sinking_

_I swallowed the scream, had the feeling of falling_

_You could put a sword through me and I wouldn't even feel it._

Deidara paled, feeling beads of sweat breaking out on his forehead. The bridge went on, but he didn't want to hear it. It would be a sad ending. He didn't want to know. After drawing parallels between the song and his own life, a sad ending would surely bring back his past plans for his future.

Deidara would've ripped the earphone out, had he not felt completely frozen, none of his limbs moving. He felt like he was forced to watch a horror movie on TV, without the chance to change channels when the scary part came. A shiver ran down his spine, when he heard the last lines.

_Collapsed on the ground_

_A girl never heard_

_The wind blew away_

_The ruins of my world_

* * *

><p>By the time the school let out, Deidara had almost forgotten about the song and was all smiles when he walked out of the building, holding Sasori's hand in his. The sun was shining, lightening the cold autumn day. Judging by the weather, it wouldn't be long until the first snowflakes would fall. Even in the winter jackets it was kind of chilly. Deidara called Tobi to pick them up and even Sasori's mouth fell open, when he saw the car that was supposed to take them to the blond's place. Fortunately, he managed to collect himself quickly enough, so Deidara didn't notice.<p>

At home, Deidara ordered Tobi to make hot chocolate for them, before he and Sasori made their way up to his room. Deidara closed the door and turned his computer on to check his mail box. He sat down behind the desk, Sasori coming up to him and placing his hands on his shoulders, starting to massage them. There was a new letter from Deidara's father, saying he would be back in two weeks.

A knock on the door made them both look up and Sasori went to open the door.

"Your hot chocolate, young sirs," Tobi said, handing Sasori two warm cups, before going back downstairs. The redhead kicked the door closed with his foot and went to sit down on Deidara's bed. The blond joined him, after having closed his computer. He noticed he was shivering, when his cold hands touched the hot cup and he quickly took a sip. Silence fell between them as they both finished their drinks, keeping eye contact like in a staring contest.

Sasori put down his cup and turned back to the blond.

"Dei…" he whispered, a strange glint in his eyes, as he moved closer, putting his hand at the back of the other's head and pulling him into a soft kiss. Deidara automatically closed his eyes and opened his mouth to let Sasori's tongue in. The sensation made him drop his empty cup on the ground, but, if we look at the good side, it also freed his hand and allowed him to wrap it around the redhead.

Sasori leaned forward, letting Deidara lie down, when he pulled away and went to kiss down the boy's neck. His fingers started to unbutton Deidara's white shirt, caressing the bare skin that was revealed. Once the cloth was out of the way, he continued to go down to the chest, picking one of the nipples to suck. Deidara let out a low moan, digging his fingernails into Sasori's shirt.

"Sasori-!"

Sasori looked up from the chest and smirked, leaning in to kiss Deidara on the lips again.

"What?" he asked in a teasing tone against the other's lips. "Do you want to change your position?"

Deidara nodded, both eagerly and a little shyly, slowly opening his eyes. He sat up, pushing the redhead down onto his back. Dei planted a soft kiss on the redhead's lips, before moving down. He zipped Sasori's jeans open and pulled them down, along with the boxers. Cold air brushing against his member, made Sasori hiss, but he quieted the moment he felt it enter Deidara's warm mouth.

At first, the blond took in a little bit, sucking it like a straw, before letting it enter deeper and deeper. He felt the member get harder as he began humming, making Sasori moan out loud. Deidara pulled away and smiled, crawling up to the redhead and connecting their lips.

"Is it my turn now or are we finished with the foreplay?" Sasori murmured, after he'd pulled away for some oxygen.

"Finished," Deidara said, feeling the redhead's hands slide down his stomach to his pants and undo them. He tried to breathe slowly as he felt his jeans and boxers go down.

"Get on your knees, angel," Sasori whispered to his ear, sitting up from the lying position. That was the time Deidara understood that a nickname could really be worth thousand words. If there was a paradise on Earth, then he was in it at the moment.

Deidara got off the redhead and turned onto his stomach, sticking his ass up in the air. He hid his face in the pillow as Sasori covered his fingers in salvia and slowly slid one finger in. A muffled whimper escaped Deidara's lips, causing Sasori to pause, but he collected himself quickly enough and motioned for the redhead to continue.

Soon, Sasori added another finger, with no complaints coming from the blond. There was silence, until Deidara suddenly moaned out loud, letting Sasori know he'd hit dead centre. He added the third finger, this time consciously thrusting against the prostate.

"Don't hide your face, babe. Let me see it," Sasori purred, taking his fingers out. Deidara obliged, his face tinted red as he looked at the other male. Words wouldn't be enough to describe how much of a turn-on this was to the redhead.

He placed his member at the blond's entrance, his expression enough to make Deidara understand the question. _Ready? _The blond nodded.

Sasori thrusted in, hitting the prostate on the first try and making Deidara moan so loud people on the first floor ought to have heard it. The redhead pulled mostly out of the blond, his hands gripping on his waist, before slamming back in, and repeating the action, quickly building up a rhythm. Dei's pants came out in rhythm with the bed rocking, Sasori's name getting involved in his moans, when his prostate was hit.

Sasori let his hand wander down from the blond's waist to his shaft, starting to bump it, increasing the pleasure for Deidara. The blond came all over his hand, making him come as well, when the walls around his member tightened. The sticky liquid had filled Deidara's entrance, when Sasori pulled out, collapsing on the bed beside his lover. He pulled him into one last messy kiss, before wrapping his arms around him and pulling him against his chest. Deidara's warm breath brushed against his bare skin as the blond tried to make his breathing go back to normal.

"I love you Deidara, my angel," Sasori said, kissing his forehead and running his hand up and down his spine.

"I love you too, Sasori."

* * *

><p>Later that day, when Deidara woke up, he found himself lying alone under a clean cover. His room was already dark, the clock on the wall showing it was 6 pm.<p>

"Sasori?" Deidara called quietly, getting out of the bed to turn the lights on. Sharp pain made him wince, when he stood up, an inevitable consequence after having a rock hard cock slamming into your ass repeatedly.

Limping slightly, he made his way to his desk, finding a small note on it.

_Had to go to the car rental. _

_I'll be there until 7 pm, then come back to pick up my schoolbag. _

_Love you,_

_Sasori_

Deidara smiled at the note and put it into his drawer. He decided to take a quick shower (well, as quick as it can be with a sore ass), and then go to the car rental as well. Do, did, done. He grabbed his cell and walked down the stairs to the first floor, meeting no one on his way. The house must've been empty.

He slipped on his jacket, put on his shoes and walked out of the building, the door closing automatically behind him. The evening was chilly and the sky was dark, the contrast with the stars charming. Deidara found himself smiling at the stars as he walked down the street, towards the building he knew Sasori's father worked at. He shoved his hands into the jacket's pockets, for he had forgotten his oh-so-warm-and-soft gloves at home. Fortunately, it wasn't a long way to go.

After 15 minutes, he reached his destination and stepped inside the warm, lightened building. He zipped his jacket open and looked around, smiling and nodding at the familiar faces he saw while walking towards the part of the building he'd seen Sasori work at before. He'd just waved at a woman who'd greeted him sweetly, even though the blond hadn't recognized her, when he turned around the corner and froze on the spot.

Sasori was standing there, a pink-haired girl in his arms. As far as Deidara could tell, even though he couldn't see her face, the girl was pretty. Deidara felt like he was going to puke his guts out any moment, so he took three steps back, around the corner. The ground seemed to be shaking a little, although it was probably only him, and he leaned against the wall, sliding down onto the ground.

_Who was that? They weren't kissing, right? Right after he and Sasori had… Who was that girl? And why? Why?_

To his surprise, he couldn't feel his eyes tearing up. All he could feel was… numbness, like he was made of stone, not ready to let what he'd just seen sink in. But the numbness was different from what it had been like in the past. Numbness was the wrong word, even. He'd been shocked into calmness. How ironic.

Sasori walked around the corner, alone, his eyes stopping at the blonde figure sitting on the ground.

"Deidara?" he said, squatting to bring his eyes to the same level with his boyfriend. "What are you doing here?" he asked, lifting up the blond bang so he'd be able to see the other's face.

"I came here so that you wouldn't have to walk back to my house alone," Deidara mumbled quietly, stubbornly looking down to not meet the redhead's eyes.

Sasori smiled. "What's wrong, Dei?"

Deidara didn't answer. This time, for once in his life, it wasn't because he didn't know what to say. _You were holding a girl in your arms, that's what! _Was what he would've said, had he intended to open his mouth. Which he didn't.

Seeing as the blond didn't move, Sasori lifted him off the ground, 'til Deidara was compelled to put his feet down. Still, however, he didn't look up.

"What's wrong?" Sasori purred, kissing him softly on his lips. Automatically, Deidara started moving his lips together with the redhead's, forgetting what he'd been thinking about for a moment. His head, though, cleared once Sasori pulled away. Guess oxygen had made its way to Dei's brain. "What's wrong, Dei?" Sasori repeated, his eyes looking at the other like he could see him right through.

"Who… who was that girl?" Deidara asked, finally deciding to give in.

Confusion flashed across Sasori's face, before a light clicked in his head. "Oh, you mean the pink-haired girl I was just with?"

Deidara nodded with a pouting and offended expression.

Sasori laughed, squeezing the other even more tightly. "That was just Sakura, my cousin." The blond's expression cleared immediately. "She has come to town for a few weeks and is staying at our place. I haven't seen her in ages… and judging by your expression, _she_ was the reason you were down. Did you fear competition?"

Deidara's expression turned once again into a pout as he stayed quiet and glared at the redhead.

"Remember, Deidara, there's _no _competition. Never was, never will be." The sincerity in both his eyes and voice gave Deidara no choice, but to believe him. Especially, since the statement was backed up by a soft kiss. What a cheater.

"Come on now, I'm finished here. We can go back to your place."

Deidara allowed a smile to appear on his face and he pressed himself closer against Sasori's side as they walked down the hallway towards the exit.

"By the way, Dei," Sasori asked, when they got outside. "How's your ass?"

* * *

><p><em>To be continued...<em>

* * *

><p><em>The first song was Strange by Tokio Hotel (feat. Kerli [who's also from Estonia, like me X3]).<em>

_The second was a song I wrote, like, a year ago or sth? And I STILL have no melody for it. That song is cursed, honestly! 4 people, all good at music, have tried creating a suiting melody for it, and failed ! (failed = I didn't like them) Lolz, kind of creepy, but we'll keep trying. _

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter ^^_


	11. Chapter 11

_A NOTE THAT YOU'D BETTER READ:_

_1)This is not the last chapter._

_2)If you don't read the songs in this chapter, then... well... you'll miss half of the point of this story._

_3)The most popular answer to my poll was 'Surprise me'. Your wish is my command._

* * *

><p>"Sasori, do you believe in afterlife?" Deidara mused as they were lying in his room, on the carpet, heads next to each other and legs in different directions. "That once we leave this life, our energy will transfer to another body and we are reborn, only without our old memories? Or that we go to heaven? Or hell?"<p>

The hand that had been playing with the blonde hair halted for a moment. Sasori took a moment to absorb the question, before his hand slowly began moving again.

"I haven't really thought about it. I suppose I don't deny the possibility."

"Hmm," Deidara mumbled and fell back into thoughts, a smile on his face, when he closed his eyes.

"Deidara?" Sasori said, sitting up after having glanced at his watch.

"Hm?"

"I think I have to go now. Sakura wanted to go shopping for a new pair of jeans and my mum insisted on me going with her, since she doesn't know the city very well."

Deidara opened his eyes, his smile saddening a little. "Oh, okay."

Sasori leaned down and pressed his lips against his, holding them together for a sweet moment. "Love you, Dei. See you at school tomorrow."

"Love you too," Deidara whispered back. "And I'm going to walk you to the door."

The redhead smiled and stood up, helping the younger male up as well. He grabbed his jacket and they walked downstairs. Sasori said his goodbyes to Matsuri, Deidara's older sister, and gave the blond one last kiss on the lips before walking out of the door.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and fished out his vibrating cell.

"Hello?"

"_Sasori, daaarling! How's my sweet nephew doing?"_

Sasori's face fell instantly once he recognized the voice.

"Hello auntie," he said, hoping his aunt wouldn't take his lack of enthusiasm as an insult. "I'm doing fine, I guess."

"_Oh, goooooood. I just called to inform you that you'll be sleeping in your brother's room for the next two weeks, since I insisted on Sakura moving into your room."_

"What…?" Sasori's voice sounded like he'd just swallowed a frog.

"_No, no arguing young man. I already talked to your mother and she agreed, so that's settled. You're a gentleman, Sasori, you understand that my girl needs her privacy during her stay."_

"Oh yeah? Well what did _she_ think of it? Have you talked to her yet?" The irritation was getting more and more obvious in the redhead's voice. What was up with relatives? Did there always have to be at least one obnoxious one? Was a tolerable family tree really too much to ask?

"_Oh I'm sure she'll be happy to hear about it. After all, it is self-evident that a girl has her own private room, wherever it is they are staying at."_

And she hung up, without letting Sasori have the time to argue. At least the call had been short.

Sasori let out an irritated sigh, before breaking into a run towards the mall. He didn't have to run for long, since the mall was only a few blocks away. Sakura was already waiting in front of the building, her expression turning apologetic at once when she saw the redhead's face.

"My mum called you?"

Sasori nodded irritated, slowing down and marching into the shop, Sakura following him like a shy shadow.

"Oh I'm so sorry, Sasori! I really didn't ask for it, it was her idea. I only heard about it a few minutes ago!" Sakura started apologizing once they were inside. They had both come to a stop, and the girl was looking down, not daring to meet her cousin's eyes. She was embarrassed that her mother would do such a thing and was now afraid that Sasori might hate her for it as well. "I don't have to stay in your room! I can stay in some other room! Any room! Let's just tell my mother that I did stay in your room and it will be fine!" she said, looking up, hopefulness glinting in her eyes.

Sasori saw it and couldn't help but smile and he felt a part of the anger in him leave, even though he knew that it wasn't going to work. "No, my mum would tell her and they both would be mad like hell at me."

Sakura's face fell and so did her eyes once again. After a moment of silence, she felt Sasori's hand patting her head, making her look up shyly. It reminded her of how they had used to be when they'd been younger and still neighbors. The memory made her smile.

"Don't worry about it, I will survive. There are worse things in this world than being kicked out of your room for a couple of weeks."

The girl let out a small sigh of relief, then caught Sasori looking at her slyly.

"But don't you dare move in, before I've hidden my magazines."

Sakura stared at him for a moment dumbfounded, before bursting out laughing simultaneously with the redhead.

Sasori removed his hand and put it on the girl's back. "Let's go get you a new pair of sexy jeans now, so you can show off with them in front of Ino."

Sakura laughed happily and followed him.

* * *

><p><em>15th November 2011<em>

"Deidara!" The blond heard his mother call. With a sigh of relief he realized the voice didn't sound angry. "Are you up in your room?"

Deidara stood up from his chair, leaving his drawing lying on the table and opened the door of his room. "I'm here!"

The boy went back to his table as he heard the footsteps getting closer, and continued with his drawing. His mother dashed into the room, looking around searching for something.

"Did I leave my comb here somewhere?" she asked in an impatient voice. It was obvious she was in a hurry.

Deidara looked up from his paper, and even though he was more than 100 per cent sure the comb wasn't there, he still let his eyes scan the room. "No, I don't think you came in here with your comb before."

His mother sighed irritated and kept searching nevertheless. Finally, understanding her son was probably right, she was about to rush out of the room again, when her eyes suddenly fell on the drawing lying her son's table. She stepped closer to take a better look at the paper. Deidara noticed this and moved out of the way a little with his chair.

"Deidara, these scribbles are nauseating," she said in a half-serious, half-kidding voice. Deidara froze on his chair, the sentence piercing through his heart when he realized his mother wasn't joking. "I'm absolutely positive your art teacher wouldn't approve of them either," she continued, unknowingly pushing the thorn even deeper into his son. Then, as if she'd just remembered she was in a hurry, she rushed out of the room, leaving his crushed son sitting there.

It took Deidara a minute before he fully understood what had just happened. He fell down the chair onto his knees and felt tears building up inside of him. Two sentences had been all it had taken to drive him back into the darkness. Two sentences. During the month he'd been together with Sasori, his mother had yelled at him several times, but hadn't had much effect on the blond's mood. Now, Deidara felt the old familiar feelings taking over him again. Tears, rage, tears, numbness, hopelessness, more tears, being lost, everything was coming back to him.

Yes, there had been only two sentences, but they had been nailed. Deidara cherished art almost as much as he cherished Sasori, the person who had brought him out of his darkness and introduced him to the more beautiful side of life. He'd always loved drawing and had thought of it as a reason to live even in his numbness. That was his weak, vulnerable and still unprotected side. And all the redhead had built, had collapsed in less than a minute, thanks to the remark.

Deidara felt his eyes getting sore as tears kept flowing down his cheeks like a river. Had his mother been in the same room at that moment, the boy would've hit him, after having yelled his lungs out. An urge to kill and an urge to give up, two opposite feelings had gotten mixed inside of him, causing him to feel like throwing up.

Almost subconsciously, he stood up and ran out of the door, grabbing his jacket on the way. He slipped on the jacket as he dashed down the stairs, putting on his shoes in a hurry, before running out of the house. His mother probably hadn't heard him leave.

He ran straight to Sasori's place, tears flowing down his cheeks. He pressed in the code Sasori had told him, to open the door to the apartment complex and ran up the stairs. Chiyo opened the door after the first ring and gasped at the sight of the blond boy. Deidara was sobbing, the liquid on his face a mixture of sweat and tears, his eyes red. And he looked like he was about to collapse any second now.

"Oh my sweet God, what happened, darling?"

Deidara really didn't feel like answering. He hoped the woman would understand as he stepped inside, keeping his eyes on the ground. "Is Sasori home?" he asked, his voice lifeless and hoarse.

"Oh, no. He just went out to pick up some groceries, but he should be back soon."

Deidara nodded, hoping his expression would make it clear enough that he appreciated being left alone. Chiyo understood.

"If you need anything, I'll be in the living room," she said and went.

Deidara just stood there, staring at the carpet for a minute or two, before kicking off his shoes and slowly walking to Sasori's room. He closed the door behind him and took off his jacket, throwing it onto the bed.

He lay down on the carpet, the tears flowing from his eyes refusing to stop. The posters on the ceiling would've normally made him laugh, but today was not the day. He was sure everything would be better once the redhead enters the room. He'd always known how to make him smile, even when his world had just collapsed.

He cocked his head to one side, his hand reaching out for something he'd noticed under the bed. He pulled it out. A black laced bra. Deidara gasped and he couldn't breathe. His first thought was that it belonged to Chiyo. That would've been a possibility, had her boobs been bigger. There was no way this one would've fit her, it wasn't even a push-up.

An image of the pinked-haired girl flashed through his imagination. The girl that Sasori had claimed to be his cousin. A statement that Deidara had believed right away, without having any doubts. But what if he had lied? What if? That possibility had never even occurred to him, and thinking back now, it seemed quite naive. But the sincerity in the redhead's eyes had never left any room for doubts of any kind.

Deidara covered his eyes, even though the tears had stopped flowing. He had no energy left for crying. All he felt was numbness, inside and out.

_Screw this world. Fuck this and set it on fire. Fuck my life. Fuck my mum. Fuck Sasori. Fuck LOVE. _

He felt like he was living a dream, like this wasn't real, when he sat up and walked out of the door to the corridor. Without saying a word to Chiyo, he slipped on his shoes and left, walking out into the cold November evening, wearing only his T-shirt.

The coldness didn't bother him, it flew past him, although his body said otherwise. He started and kept walking, his legs seeming to move on their own. Without any help coming from the brain, they seemed to know their destination.

Sasori unlocked the door and stepped into the apartment, carrying two grocery bags.

"Darling! Is that you, sweetie?" he heard his mother call from the other room.

"Yes, mum!" he shouted back, putting down the bags to take off his shoes and jacket.

"Deidara is waiting for you in your room."

Sasori halted for a second after hearing that, then ditched the bags and rushed to his room. In his room? Meaning, the room Sakura had moved into? An unannounced visit? Something must've happened, he concluded and opened the door.

He found the room completely empty. At first it didn't make any sense. Had his mother duped him? As a joke?

He stepped into the room, looking around. Well, the place was still quite clean, he would give Sakura that. His stuff was still where it was supposed to be and none of the posters had been removed.

He was about to leave the room, when suddenly, something on the floor caught his eye. And that was when he realized the reason his blond wasn't in the room anymore. His mind was already racing ahead as he bolted out of the room, slipped on his shoes and dashed out of the apartment, leaving his jacket behind.

* * *

><p>Dozens of songs were going through Deidara's ahead as he stepped closer to the edge of the cliff.<p>

_The sun started to set, I tried to catch it. But it was too far, going into the sea sinking. Collapsed on the ground, a girl never heard. The wind blew away the ruins of my world_

The lines kept repeating in his head, till they were pushed away by another song that stayed there, not leaving him alone. The lyrics went through his mind, a familiar voice singing the song. From time to time he would say some of the lines out loud. His eyes were glued to the horizon.

_On top of the roof, the air is so cold and so calm._

Well, a cliff works as well, I guess.

_I say your name in silence, you don't wanna hear it right now._

No one to call my name here. No one will make me hear something so sore and bitter, yet so soft at the moment.

_The eyes of the city are counting the tears falling down. _

Deidara felt a tear drop from his cheek and realized he was crying again, only the tears weren't flowing down anymore, but fell down slowly, one by one. The city lights still reached this abandoned place, but were so far away.

_Each one a promise of everything you never found._

What did I find in my life? What did I achieve? What did I _do? _What _have _I been doing for the last 16 years? Nothing? Waiting? Waiting for the end to finally come, deep inside hoping that maybe a miracle would happen, succeeding in bringing a meaning into my life? _Sasori... _

He closed his eyes. He felt like someone had bitten his heart, when the name went through his head. He sensed his mind skipping the chorus of the song and giving him the second verse instead.

_You open your eyes, but you can't remember what for._

_The snow falls quietly, you just can't feel it no more._

_Somewhere out there, you lost yourself in your pain._

_You dream of the end, to start all over again._

A sore tear fell, when his mind started to play the chorus, making him whisper along.

"_I scream into the night for you..." _His voice was shaking, partly because of the cold that had had him shivering for quite some time now, without him even noticing it. The chorus represented the lines of the savior, a fact that made the blond feel nauseous again.

"_Don't make it true, don't jump."_

He took a deep breath, still shivering, forcing himself to calm down. Even if just a little.

"_The lights will not guide you through, they're deceiving you, don't jump."_

It felt like he was trying to convince himself to stop moving, oh so slowly, closer to the edge. Soon, the lower ground could be seen. But he alone wasn't enough to convince himself. Never was, never had been.

"_Don't let memories go of me and you, the world is down there out of view, please don't jump."_

What would Sasori say if he was here? Would those be his words, or would he just stand here and watch?

_"I don't know how long, I can hold you so strong."_

One more small step. The ground seemed so far away and dark, like he was staring into the ocean during the night.

"_Just take my hand, give it a chance."_

"_Please don't jump, don't jump," _Deidara's eyes snapped open in fear and he froze. This wasn't his voice anymore. "_And if all that can't hold you back, I'll jump for you."_

Deidara turned around, finding Sasori, wearing only a T-shirt, staring into his eyes from a few metres away. The blond felt a cold shiver run down his back, even though it had nothing to do with the weather.

"How... how did you find me?" he blurted his emotions out, almost literally, because after that he closed his eyes again and fell back into numbness.

"Your drawing," Sasori said, getting a simple nod as reply.

Deidara slowly turned around and looked into the depths of the ground. It still seemed far away, but not scary or frightening. It seemed like... any other cold ground, nothing more, nothing less.

"Sasori," Deidara said, his voice lifeless, yet holding too many emotions to count. Even though he knew the redhead had betrayed him, he didn't feel alone anymore. Sasori was the only person he'd rather to have here. "What do you think comes after the end? After a person dies. Heaven? Hell? Another life? ...nothing?"

"I don't know," Sasori whispered back, his voice sounding almost the same as the blond's. "I don't know, Deidara."

Deidara felt a single tear drop from his cheek, falling into the darkness. His breathing was shallow, barely noticeable. The wind flipped his bang in front of his eyes that were glued to the depth. His skin was white from the cold. Judging by the temperature, it would snow in a week.

"Sasori," he breathed and turned around. He shifted his eyes off the ground into the redhead's. The sight made it hard for Deidara to breathe, but he couldn't turn away. "You're standing behind a door. You don't know what is behind it, you know nothing, except that you can't turn back once you enter. Ever. How come there are still people who are willing to go through it, even though they know, if the door shuts behind them, it never opens for them again?"

"Only two possible answers. Either one, they know anywhere else is better than where they're standing at that moment," Sasori took a step closer. "Or that they will be going through it together."

With a little struggle, Deidara closed his eyes, shivered, and opened them again, only this time they were in tears. Slowly, he took a step backwards, closer to the edge, one heel already over it.

"Which one will it be?" he asked, his voice shaking. He inhaled deeply and breathed the last words, "I love you, Sasori," before falling back, off the cliff.

The same moment, Sasori took a huge leap forwards and jumped, catching Deidara in his arms in mid-air. "I love you too, Deidara."

A fleeting moment that managed to outdo Deidara's whole short life was there and then passed with them as they fell, together.

* * *

><p><em>The Rangle Times<em>

**Two missing teenagers found dead**

After three months of searching, Sasori Akasuna (17) and Deidara Iwaga (16) were found dead in a forest not far from the Rangle city by two elderly women. The bodies had been hidden under the snow, appearing once the snow had melted. Police suspect suicide.

Akasuna and Iwaga were reported missing on 16th November after they didn't return back to home. The two were last seen leaving Akasuna's house in the evening of 15th November, without telling anyone where they were going. Police have declined to give any further comments.

The teenagers' parents have refused to speak to the media.

The burial ceremony will be held on 1st March 2012.

* * *

><p>A tear fell on the newspaper Matsuri was holding in her hand as she looked up. The two coffins were being carried in, when a song started to play. She had picked it, a small part of her hoping that people would get the message. She had realized what had happened the second she'd heard the news about both of the teens being reported missing.<p>

Her mother hadn't wanted to believe it, when the police had come over to tell the news about the two of them found dead. She had kept arguing with the policemen, tears flowing down her face, while Mr. Iwaga, Izuna and Matsuri had just sat there on the couch, staying quiet.

Matsuri had been the one to suggest that Sasori's and Deidara's funerals would be held together. Her own family was too messed up to even be able to think straight, let alone plan a ceremony, but Chiyo had kept a clear head. Like a child she often looked like, somehow she'd managed to drown the sorrow and had agreed to the idea, knowing that was what her son would've wanted.

She was standing next to Matsuri, when the song started to play. She'd had her own questions to the girl after the ceremony about the song, letting Matsuri know there was at least one person who'd understood. Understood that it wasn't just another depressed-teenagers-killing-themselves story. It was about pushing someone over the edge and not even taking a notice of it before it was too late.

_Only now that I get this feeling_

_There's no one around who has something to say_

_I will let it all go, all at once, some day_

_You will see the result, but won't see the changing_

_You'll know how I reacted, but won't know what I was facing_

_It will get a lot worse when we'll meet again and see_

_That I don't recognize you and you don't recognize me_

_What happened to that girl? Why is she burning that letter?_

_Don't worry, let her be. On her own she'll be better._

_What happened to that girl? They won't be wondering for long_

_And she'll be forgotten, 'cause it'll be time to move on_

_I won't talk about my dreams, won't tell you what I'm thinking_

_I may be numb on the outside, but on the inside I'm sinking_

_Soon you'll leave like all the others, as I'll be sitting there cursed_

_I know I let you down, but you pushed me away first_

_What happened to that girl? Why is she burning that letter?_

_Is she going to shatter? No, she'll be better._

_Is she gonna be better? No, she'll..._

_Isn't she gonna be better? No, she'll..._

_HOW COME SHE'LL BE BETTER?_

_She'll just be alone…_

* * *

><p><em>And now I will leave you wondering what the fuck could the next chapter possibly be about.<em>

_The first song was 'Don't jump' by Tokio Hotel, the last one 'What happened to that girl?' written by me._


	12. Chapter 12

_For this one to make sense, you need to abandon your common sense and just trust your imagination. I will give you only one hint to help you make sense in this chapter: the date._

* * *

><p><em>27th April 2056<em>

Deidara woke up, shivering, his forehead covered with cold sweat. He felt cold, even though it was spring in Spain. He'd seen a nightmare again. To be precise, he'd seen _the _nightmare again, _the _one he'd been seeing for as long as he could remember. He could never recall what it was about once he'd woken up, but the feeling after it always remained the same. There were always the same blurry images running through his head, too abstract to understand.

He got out of his bed and grabbed his nightgown from the back of the chair. He marched out of his messy room, stepping over the piles of clothes and books lying on the ground, hurrying to get some breakfast and to get the nightmare out of his mind. The rest of the apartment was relatively clean compared to his bedroom, already making him feel a little better.

"Well, if it isn't my little cremnophobic brother, joining us for some breakfast," Akira, Deidara's one year older brother, snickered, when the blond entered the kitchen. "Wanna go cliff diving, Dei? I have some free time in the afternoon."

"Har har. Your jokes haven't improved since eight grade. I can see why your ex dumped you, although I'm having a hard time figuring out, why she agreed to go on a date in the first place. Did you threaten her?"

A pack of cereal hitting him in the face made him shut up. He caught it and poured some cereal into his bowl, before adding milk. He took a seat next to his father, who was reading a newspaper while drinking some coffee.

"Akira, these kinds of jokes are not acceptable towards your brother," the boy's mum scolded her oldest son, her eyes leaving the magazine in her hands for a moment. "Take them back."

"Mama!" Deidara yelled like he'd stepped on a snake. "For God's sake, I'm 17! I think I can take care of myself, without you having to step in every time me and Akira nag at each other!"

"Now hold it, boy," Deidara's dad's deep voice said, his tone more than serious as he looked up from his newspaper. "You're-."

"_No!" _Deidara cut him short, standing up, almost shaking from anger. "_Not _a boy, OK? I'm almost an adult, alright?"

"And still a virgin," Akira added so quietly, only Deidara could hear.

In his mind, Deidara vowed to get back on his brother for that sneaky, yet true, comment. But that had to be later, when his parents weren't around.

His eyes shifted back to his parents and he saw that, expectedly, they were none too happy about the outburst. He realized his mistake and that he had to make it up, if he wanted to go out that day. In spite of his age, since he was still living in his parent's apartment, he had no other choice, but to act like a good child.

"I'm sorry," he said, sitting down, eyes on the table.

"We will talk about this later, but for now, finish your breakfast."

Deidara obeyed silently, sensing his brother's low chuckle across the table. He ate up and went to the sink to wash his bowl. The irritation level was rising in him, but he had to keep it from showing on his face. Somewhat cautiously, he proceeded out of the kitchen, back to his messy room.

He hated how he had to act all humble and unpretentious around his parents, especially his father. He doubted the man had a clue of his true nature. On the other hand, the alternative would've been for him to move out, but that would've meant getting a part-time job, and even if he would've managed to figure out a way to get his homework done with extra responsibilities to occupy his time, there were hardly any jobs for minors available. Besides stripping, but Deidara didn't consider that as an option.

He heard his phone ringing and snapped his head in the direction of the tone. It took him a little digging in a pile of random stuff before he managed to find his cell.

"Yes?"

"Where are you? Scratch that, why aren't you here yet?"

Deidara glanced at his watch. It showed 10 am.

"We had to meet at 11 am, no?"

"_Ten _am, Deira." (A/N: No, this isn't a typo. Deidara's friends nicknamed him Deira, being so creative to skip one syllable.)

"Math was never my favorite subject."

"Well, what about English?"

Deidara smirked at the comeback. "I'll meet you in half an hour, alright?"

Without waiting for an answer, he ended the call and threw it back into the pile he'd found it from. He found a pair of white jeans to wear and a T-shirt. In the end, he still had to search the same pile to find his cell again, before grabbing his jacket and heading out, purposefully avoiding the kitchen shortcut to the exit.

He took his time walking to the meeting place, succeeding in being 5 more minutes late. He was greeted by his group of friends, who didn't seem too happy about waiting.

"Hey, before you kill me, hear my amazing defensive comeback that will make all the anger in you go away, alright?"

There was a short silence, the groups' faces like a challenge for Deidara to bring it on. The blond bit his lip and raised his palms.

"OK, I don't have none. But I can buy you a round of drinks."

Now that was the language his friends understood. All grimaces were washed away to be replaced by joking smirks. Deidara knew this all too well, only because this was his life. Literally, if someone had forced him to pick an essence for his life, he would've picked the times he spent with his friends, basically doing nothing. In any case, nothing remarkable. Surviving in the city with the highest crime rate, where every week, at least 10 people got killed and 18 raped, and getting away with all the crap they pulled didn't count.

Kankuro stopped a taxi (by stepping in front of one and almost getting run over) and the group of teens got in. Deidara had no idea who was going to pay, or if any of them even had any money at that point, but it didn't really matter. It never mattered. For one thing, at least, he knew that he couldn't afford it, if he wanted to be able to keep his word and buy his friends some drinks later.

The five of them were squished together in the backseat, Deidara sitting in Akane's lap, who looked a little green around the gills. The blond wondered if he'd already had some drinks before and wished that he wouldn't throw up, at least not with him sitting in his lap.

The taxi pulled over in front of their pub. It came out that Kankuro still had some money, and he pulled it out to pay the cabbie. The group trooped out of the car then, looking around like they were seeing the sun for the first time in their lives. And then the yelling and shouting began . Any bystander would've claimed that they were definitely drunk, or, to say at the least, high. But no, alcohol was only about to flow into their systems.

They made their way to the pub, pushing Deidara to go in first as he was the one supposed to buy the drinks. The blond laughed along with the group and fished out his wallet, showing the cash inside to his friends to receive loud cheering in return. Backed up by an applause of thirsty teenagers, Deidara walked to the counter and ordered the drinks.

Everybody got their share and the shouting had just reached the loudest point, when Deidara heard a voice that made him freeze. He couldn't make out the words it said, he wasn't even sure how he could hear it in all the noise, but it made him turn around.

His hand holding the glassware filled with beer, bashed into someone standing behind him. The liquid spilled over the edge onto the ground, the two males backing away instantly, in order to avoid their clothes getting ruined.

«Извините!» (A/N: Russian for 'sorry'. Pron.: Eez-ve-ne-tye) The voice gave Deidara goose bumps all over his back as his eyes still stayed on the ground covered with beer. Fast and blurry images were racing through his head, every single one of them forgotten once it was replaced by a new one. But something still stayed, a little detail. It was more of a feeling, something he sensed at the back of his mind. Something red and cold. Very cold. Freezing.

Deidara couldn't fight the headache that was caused by this, connecting all the dots to his ever-lasting nightmare. He raised his head and saw a red-headed man in his early twenties standing in front of him, an apologetic smile on his face.

In a second, the headache got even worse, and the blurry image, that was more of a feeling, transformed into an image of the same man standing in front of him.

* * *

><p><em>Soo... did you get it? And more importantly, ANYONE UP FOR A SEQUEL?<em>


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